Little Pink Starfish

The moment that thought crossed his mind, as if he had read Jehuz’s mind, Nyne smiled beautifully. He chewed thoroughly with a crisp crunching sound, swallowed, and spoke while meeting Amon’s gaze.

“Amon-nim, would you like to try this? The texture is interesting.”

Until now, no matter what food Amon tasted, it all felt the same—nothing impressed him. But after seeing Nyne’s smiling face, he accepted the food offered to him. Even though it was something he had definitely eaten before, he chewed slowly as if it was a taste and texture he was experiencing for the first time. The sacred golden eyes rippled, and emotion flickered in his gaze as he looked at Nyne as if savoring him. A faint smile formed on Amon’s lips, and soon he nodded in agreement.

“Yes, the texture is interesting.”

It might be considered an irreverent thought for someone of a lower class, but even though Amon had watched for such a long time, he now looked like someone who was falling for the other person all over again.

Jehuz, looking at Nyne with a heart full of envy, tilted his head. Even though Nyne was smiling so beautifully, he didn’t quite seem happy for some reason.

“Sha Nyne…”

At the cautious voice calling him, Nyne finally remembered the person who had been following behind him. Resha Jehuz Idua. The third daughter of the Idua family, known for its beauty. Recalling the information, Nyne smiled and answered Resha Jehuz.

“What is it?”

“Forgive me, but may this humble servant dare speak about Sha?”

Jehuz’s cheeks were slightly red with a youthful blush. It was because, after the meal, when Nyne commanded her to accompany him for a walk, she was overjoyed. In Nyne’s eyes, she was not just young but so lively and fresh that it seemed a waste for her to be confined in the Lotus Pavilion.

“Go ahead, speak.”

Even though permission was given, Jehuz remained extremely cautious. She swallowed dryly and opened her mouth.

“I may be mistaken, but you seem somehow unwell.”

“That would make sense. The weather has been humid lately, so I haven’t been sleeping well at night.”

So that’s what she meant. Nyne casually gave an excuse to cover it up. It was true that he hadn’t been sleeping well. But once again, the reason he couldn’t sleep at night wasn’t the heat or the humidity. It was because he kept dreaming of memories like nightmares. In his dreams, someone was always dead or dying. Nyne could only hope these dreams were not of memories he had lost.

In truth, it was very likely they weren’t lost memories. Too many people died for them to be his memories. Occasionally, there were certain individuals whose faces he remembered clearly, from their youth to old age, which made no sense for someone like Nyne who wasn’t even thirty. So it couldn’t have been real.

But then, why did something ominous, coiled up in his chest like a pupil of flame, react so intensely?

Realizing his expression had become too dark, Nyne quickly composed himself. He hid his feelings not only from Amon but also from Resha and the other priests. It was exhausting, but he endured it, thinking it was necessary.

“Your concern for me is admirable.”

When Nyne praised her with a smile, Jehuz’s face flushed bright red. She had been very nervous while serving at the meal, but aside from that, she had been happy all day. Seeing that face, Nyne smiled bitterly inside. At least today, he got to see one person who was truly happy, and that slightly lifted his mood.

“Jehuz.”

“Yes, Sha. Please speak.”

Nyne, looking at the dark lake shrouded in thick clouds that even blocked out the sunset, began to speak.

“Don’t you want to see your family?”

At those words, Jehuz’s gaze wavered. Her face still had a youthful look, as if she had only just come of age. She must have missed her parents, family, and friends dearly. And as far as Nyne knew, Jehuz had been in the Lotus Pavilion for less than a year. That would make it an especially hard time. Jehuz answered in a trembling voice.

“This servant has devoted her life only to Sha. How could I dare harbor such worldly desires?”

“I was born without parents or siblings, so familial love has always seemed especially precious to me. Since you served me well today, I’ll grant you the chance to have a meal with your family at the Lake Temple, on a day of your choosing.”

“Sha, how could you bestow upon me such great grace? How could I possibly repay this favor…”

At the mention of meeting her family, Jehuz was so shocked that she collapsed on the spot. She kept bowing in gratitude, her voice trembling. She must have thought she had completely severed ties with her family when she entered the Lotus Pavilion, and now that she could see them again, her whole body shook with joy.

“If you are grateful to me, always keep your body pure.”

“Yes, I shall! As your servant, I will remain pure—always pure.”

“Good, my lovely Jehuz.”

When Nyne gently cupped her chin and lifted her head, Jehuz’s tearful eyes widened. Her face gradually flushed red and her eyes became dazed as Nyne kindly said:

“If you wait with patience and obedience, one day I will personally, with my own hands, guide you to the eternal afterlife. The bracelet I gave you today is the symbol of that promise.”

Even as he said that, Nyne wanted to bite his tongue. To say he’d personally guide her to the afterlife was no different than saying he’d personally kill her. But to Resha, it would sound like the most enchanting promise. At least for now, she would restrain herself and wait for the day she could die by Nyne’s hand.

“I will remember it well, Sha!”

Even though he had just told her he would kill her, Jehuz wept with happiness, overwhelmed with emotion. But Nyne couldn’t share in that happiness. Watching her walk back to the Lotus Pavilion with a light step, he thought:

The Idua family is one of the wealthiest in Trastasa. According to what Usur Mayri conveyed through Phaira Sero, they’ve often had good opportunities stolen by the Iyad family and bear a grudge. That made them potential allies. Once Jehuz dined with her family, she would surely share what happened today. The head of the Idua family, being a shrewd priest, would certainly understand the meaning of Nyne sending Jehuz.

Phaira Sero, Usur Mayri, Jehuz Idua—gathering and growing a faction was going surprisingly smoothly. Being loved by Amon under the name “Sha” came with enormous power.

Back when he lost his memory, did his past self also try to deal with Osen Iyad like this? And had he repeatedly failed because of those memory losses?

‘To Osen Iyad, I must have been an easy tool to use—and a potential threat at any time.’

That’s probably why they needed to regularly dull Nyne’s mind and senses through ritual. But now they wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. He tried to think positively—that he would now bring change to Trastasa—but an uneasy feeling lingered. What was the deal that Amon had once mentioned—something between him and Iyad?

No matter how hard he tried, the fact remained that everything could collapse with a single word from Amon, and that scratched at his nerves. Nyne’s power existed only because of Amon’s affection. With a deep sigh, Nyne stared blankly at the lake.

Smiling, chatting, eating despite having no appetite—all day, regardless of mood—made him feel nauseated. He was tired, drained, and easily depressed. He wanted to run to the only one who could understand and empathize with him in this land and be comforted—but he held back. Even when the door appeared on the wall each night, he didn’t open it, only stared at it for a while before falling asleep—and then woke from another nightmare. His body and mind were exhausted.

Nyne, lost in thought, stared at the ripples made by raindrops on the lake’s surface for a long time before finally returning to the Holy Sanctuary.

“Nyne.”

At the voice calling his name, Nyne snapped back to his senses. He had been staring blankly at the flowerbed, completely zoned out. Amon was watching him fixedly, and Nyne smiled first.

“What are you thinking so deeply about?”

“The flowers were so pretty, I got distracted for a moment.”

In truth, he had been thinking about the dream he had last night. Rarely, he hadn’t had a nightmare. In that dream, no one died, and he wasn’t trying to drown himself in the lake. He was simply sitting peacefully, plucking a worn and rough lyre, playing music for someone. It was a melody that felt both unfamiliar and somehow familiar.