Little Pink Starfish

Coming of age?
That actually sounded kinda promising!

But laozi wasn’t scared at all hahahahaha!

Gu Bai expressionlessly… showed a very meaningful smirk.

Because — elves also had an awakening period.

As the darlings of the forest, elves were deeply connected to nature, and the most natural thing, well, was instinct.

Just like how human males randomly started washing sheets during puberty, and human females had a painful monthly event, elves, after reaching adulthood at five hundred, had to wait at least another hundred years if early, or up to four or five hundred years if late, before they entered their development phase — which was actually their awakening period!

Only at that point could elves once again follow nature, find a partner, and then go pa pa pa!

Otherwise…

Hehe, females would suffer greatly if pa’d, and as for males…

They absolutely couldn’t do the pa.
— If they wanted to do the pa, they could only be the one pa’d.

Also pretty tragic.

So basically, the possibly-about-to-come-of-age elf prince pervert — still had many years before he could even get [BEEP]-ed up, hahahahaha!

#Every male elf is a thousand-year-old virgin#

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Wasn’t that… kind of a little exciting?

Anyway, Gu Bai felt a certain… eggy satisfaction.
Okay, it was actually extremely satisfying.

Qiguan Rui’s expression twisted for a second upon receiving Gu Bai’s smirk.

How could he… not know?

In this current world, if it were his real body descending, slaughtering a few continents wouldn’t even be a problem. But unfortunately, he had been stuffed into an elf’s body, and his true form was being temporarily blocked by the world’s will. This body could shift between child and adolescent forms based on his will, but before maturing, it was still impossible to transform into an awakened elf capable of [BEEP]-ing!

The so-called shifting only worked with states already experienced — not future ones.

Qiguan Rui sighed, a little depressed: “Gege doesn’t love me anymore…”

Gu Bai gave his head a tiger-pat: “No, I…”

Barely stopped a confession that almost slipped out!

Then, with a cold smirk, he stared directly at the damn pervert opposite him.

Almost got tricked again!

Seeing that he couldn’t coax a confession out, Qiguan Rui immediately smiled gently: “Gege, let’s go inspect the businesses.”

A smart topic shift — give him ten thousand likes!

Gu Bai: “……”

Weren’t they supposed to do this once every fifteen years? It’s not even time yet, damn it! Flip table!

Qiguan Rui sighed softly: “On the day I come of age, I want to spend a two-person world with gege… to celebrate properly.”

Gu Bai: “……Mn.”

Fine fine fine! Laozi got persuaded again!

Laozi was just always this easy to convince…

·

Actually, the situation was like this:

Because the elves, under Qiguan Rui’s training, would catch those sneaking into the forest to steal things and make them mine, the mined ores, of course, had to be sold.

So, how to sell?

The elves were too innocent. If they negotiated, they’d definitely get scammed, so the job naturally had to fall to Gu Bai — this old-timer who’d mixed through countless worlds and lived for tens of thousands of years — cough, this now rather clever pure-blooded man, to personally go.

As for Qiguan Rui?

At the time, he was still a bean sprout — even now he was occasionally bean sprout-sized. How could he use that appearance to negotiate with anyone!

At most, he could tag along and help with scheming.

The business partners, naturally, were humans.

Of course, ore was mainly used for forging and smithing, so selling to dwarves would’ve been convenient — but elf-dwarf relations were notoriously bad. Rather than dealing with dwarves and inviting trouble, it was better to just go straight to those “sly and treacherous” humans!

And thus, the once-every-fifteen-years business inspection was born.

— People in this world, like those in xianxia|worlds, had longer lifespans the stronger they were. There were necromancers, liches, and undead who were nearly immortal, so these time gaps didn’t affect much.

Normally, the strongest few elves would use spatial rings to carry ore and deliver it with zero small talk, avoiding any risk of being scammed.

Back on topic.

Now, Qiguan Rui’s suggestion was… let’s both head out to inspect the industries!
And, conveniently, celebrate his birthday too.

After that, Gu Bai stepped out of the palace.

“Swish swish——”

Countless elves turned their heads in unison, surrounding Gu Bai with enthusiastic smiles.

Gu Bai: “I will be inspecting the industries.”

The elves cheered:

“Understood!”

“Safe travels, Your Majesty!”

“Be careful out there, Your Majesty!”

“Humans are cunning — be on guard!”

“We’ll wait—”

Yes, everyone knew, whenever the Queen went out…

And also…

Their Highness…
Prince His Highness is the best!

Gu Bai expressionlessly nodded.

Then he turned around, dragging his long robe, holding the hand of a slender and beautiful youth, leaving behind a noble and sacred silhouette…

The elves watched with teary eyes.

Their Queen and their Prince!

All this — was for their sake!

In this tragic and heroic mood, the elves leapt up and darted through the trees.

Their destination was where the miners were. They were going to monitor those wicked humans’ labor — only then could they soothe their sorrowful longing…

·

Once Gu Bai and Qiguan Rui left the elf forest, the first thing they did was — put on cloaks.

Of course, these cloaks weren’t the classic black cloak + hood cliché loved by every fantasy novel ever. Think about it! The whole point was to disguise their elf identity, right? And then they go all black and hooded like a necromancer — wouldn’t that make people even more suspicious!

Gu Bai: I’ve wanted to roast this for so long orz

So now, the cloak on Gu Bai was pure white, and the one on Qiguan Rui was sky blue. On their heads were not hoods but trendy wide-brimmed hats that perfectly covered their pointy ears. The green markings on their foreheads were hidden under elegant forehead ornaments.

In an instant, luxury value up!
Beauty value remained untouched, okay!

After heading out, Gu Bai summoned the carriage.

Yep, although elves moved through the forest like fish in water with no hindrance at all, now that they were pretending to be humans — they had to commit fully!

So the carriage had been prepared long ago.

Qiguan Rui was particularly attentive. He sat in front of the carriage, picked up the little whip… Eh? You thought he’d drive while letting his precious treasure Gu Bai relax inside?

Nope! There’s no way he could endure a long trip without his beloved beside him!

So, Qiguan Rui dragged Gu Bai to the front seat too.

And so — the two of them drove the carriage together.

Gu Bai silently held his forehead.

Honestly, if it was gonna be like this, they might as well have ridden horses.

Damn it, not a single person in the carriage, yet two people up front driving — what was even the point of the carriage?! Just take the horses and go!

Qiguan Rui smiled tenderly: “Gege, we’re not short on money. A carriage or two means nothing.”

Gu Bai: “……”

Right, he’d almost forgotten this guy was once a world-class super tycoon who could use priceless gem-grade treasures as marbles, smashing them one handful at a time for fun.

As someone who had to stand by and watch this game of… wealth abuse, he didn’t really have any room to complain about this pervert wasting money… ahahaha.

Forget it, just keep making money.

After that, Gu Bai and Qiguan Rui began their journey to make money— no, to inspect industries.

After five hundred years of operation, their business points had spread across the continent like flowers blooming everywhere, with a steady stream of gold and silver flowing in every year.

Therefore, each site was very important.

Now, they were heading to the closest one to begin their inspection.

·

Godo Gori City.

This was a fairly complex city. It didn’t fall under the control of the Church of Light, which was the most widely followed religion on the continent. There was no Light Church sub-temple here — instead, dark churches, death cults, war god cults, and other less savory faiths had set up branches here. However, because those faiths weren’t as strict, the people here were more liberal-minded and even allowed for the presence of atheists.

To make money — enough money to last even the elves’ long lives for generations — Gu Bai naturally placed one of their business operations here.

…Though, it was the damn pervert who suggested it.

However, after the two arrived here, the first thing they heard was — news of an auction.

Yes, auction. Once again, an auction. Ninety-nine percent of all worlds had auctions. The appearance rate of auctions in fantasy novels was practically the highest. Small arc — auction. Mid arc — auction. Big arc — definitely auction. If a world didn’t have an auction, it was as if the plot was incomplete! Like the protagonist hadn’t really lived!

And even with the clichés and repetition, countless authors still felt compelled to write them.

Gu Bai had once been one of them.

Because this thing… was a treasure-farming weapon!

Super good for finding hidden gems, so satisfying!

Only, this time Gu Bai’s attention was caught not by treasure or bargains.

But because he secretly overheard a rumor… or maybe it was just sneaky marketing, who knew.

Someone said: This auction — would conclude with the auctioning of an elf.

Hehe, auctioning elves.

Damn it, this was slapping the Earth Deity on the face!

He was so mad his three corpses exploded and seven orifices smoked, okay!

Gu Bai: Laozi is the elf wu (female) wang.
Dare to auction off our little cubs?! You want me to smash your face in with a pervert or what!

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