Little Pink Starfish

That salty pig hand moved too fast. Gu Bai was, of course, also very fast, but ultimately not as fast.

Perhaps it was because the alpacas running wild in his mind were too rampant that he actually managed to dodge it.

Then, he heard an aged voice say, “Oh? Not bad, kid.”

Qi Guanrui was standing to the side, watching everything unfold clearly.

Initially, Ziche Shubai had been enjoying the scenery, so Qi Guanrui hadn’t planned to interrupt. But in the blink of an eye, he noticed a shadow approaching.

—Too bad he couldn’t react in time.

Qi Guanrui felt like he might be getting a little irritable.

Someone actually ambushed Ziche Shubai right in front of him, and he couldn’t do a thing…

How could he accept this?

In the next moment, he saw an old man appear in front of Gu Bai.

A shriveled, small, wretched-looking old man.

But the pressure emanating from this old man was intense—it stirred a deep, primal hunger within Qi Guanrui’s very bloodline.

He needed power, needed to devour, needed…

Unlike Qi Guanrui’s dark and brooding thoughts, Gu Bai, upon seeing the scrawny old man, had three big words flash through his mind—

Damn, it all!

He actually forgot that after the strength assessment, they would do a bone examination!

So just now, that wasn’t a salty pig hand, but someone coming to check his bones?! But damn it, as the ruler of a city, how could he let someone touch him so casually? That would be such a blow to his image!

The most infuriating part? When the perverted protagonist had come here, Gu Bai had written it as a beautiful female teacher doing a steamy bone examination! Why was it an old geezer when it was his turn?!

Even if he truly wasn’t into real-life women, the difference between a beauty and an old man was just too much, okay?!

No matter how much Gu Bai raged internally, his face was still as expressionless as ever. When he looked at the old man, his voice remained cold and indifferent: “Who are you?”

The old man stroked his short beard and said, “I am an overseer of the academy, surname Fang. I am here to examine the bones of the incoming students.”

Gu Bai gave him a dead-fish stare.

Bro really doesn’t want to be touched by an old man. Clearly, there are other methods, so hurry up and use them!

Old Man Fang studied Gu Bai kindly for a moment before slowly pulling something transparent from his sleeve—it looked like a flute with many small holes on it.

He said, “If you do not wish to have a bone examination, just send your martial energy into this, and it will reveal your results.”

Geniuses had their own tempers. Aside from those who enjoyed the touch of a beauty or those who were completely thick-skinned, most people didn’t like being groped all over. To accommodate this, the academy, adhering to humane principles, had developed this alternative assessment method—preserving the pride and dignity of their geniuses.

—Of course, this treatment was reserved for martial lords. If you were just a regular martial artist or slightly above that… well, say goodbye to your pride and dignity, haha.

Seeing the device, Gu Bai placed his hand on it.

The moment he injected his martial energy, the small holes on the tube began to light up—

One, two, three… stopping at twenty-three.

Gu Bai’s physical body clearly hadn’t reached twenty-four yet.

This was practically high-tech! Incredibly precise!

Old Man Fang nodded in satisfaction. “A high-level martial lord at twenty-three years old. Kid, your talent is top-notch.”

Since this young genius had been a bit disrespectful earlier, he decided to overlook it.

Gu Bai scrutinized Old Man Fang, but still couldn’t recall his identity.

So he was probably… just a nobody.

At the very least, he wasn’t mentioned in the original novel.

But since the other party introduced himself as an “academy overseer”… then he was likely one of the ten overseers that had never been elaborated on in the story.

Which meant he had no connection to the protagonist.

So, he was safe?

Gu Bai figured that the academy’s ten overseers were basically like ten deans of discipline. Since this guy was within a safe range, there was no need to keep his distance.

Old Man Fang smiled and asked, “Kid, aren’t you curious why you’re the only one who entered?”

Gu Bai remained expressionless. “It will be clear afterward.”

Haha, bro already knows. Why do I need you to explain?

Thinking about this matter stirred up a bloody and tearful history.

Back when Gu Bai first stepped onto the path of writing harem novels, he had racked his brains and painstakingly researched everything from ancient erotic art to modern AVs. He studied with diligence, not daring to slack off.

To make every intimate scene enticing, he inserted “meat” whenever he could—every plotline had to have some.

Naturally, the academy arc was no exception. Before Wang Yingluo appeared, the protagonist had to undergo a bone examination when entering the academy.

Since a bone examination was such an ambiguous act, of course, it had to be done by a beautiful woman!

But if too many people were around, how could the protagonist flirt? If other students saw, that would be unacceptable!

Thus, the martial testing stone gate served not only as the first assessment—it was also a teleportation gate.

As the name implied, everyone who pushed open the stone gate entered a different location.

—Don’t ask why a world without cultivation or magic has teleportation. Unscientific things don’t need explanations.

Gu Bai declared: I’m the author. I say it exists, so it exists. Even if it doesn’t exist, it still exists.

The protagonist’s bone examination naturally led to something more with the beautiful teacher.

However, since this teacher was merely a teacher—young and without deep connections in the inner academy—she introduced the protagonist to a more powerful mentor before stepping aside, becoming just another member of his harem. She was never mentioned again.

Drowned in the vast ocean of the protagonist’s harem. ╮(╯▽╰)╭

Old Man Fang had no idea that Gu Bai was zoning out. Seeing the youth’s calm demeanor, he silently approved.

If, after investigating his background, he found no conflicts with his own students, he would take him in without hesitation.

For now, he just needed to gain some goodwill, in case someone else tried to snatch him away.

With that thought, Old Man Fang stopped beating around the bush and flipped his palm, handing over a token.

Gu Bai took it and looked down.

It’s here, it’s here, it’s here! The legendary student ID! Also known as a “pass token”—it looked so high-class!

The texture, the design—it was exactly as he had written it!

Having been a shut-in for years after graduating from university, Gu Bai, upon seeing this pass token, was suddenly reminded of his miserable high school days.

He instantly felt smug.

Bro is a transfer student now—no, a postgraduate student!

Bro is attending a noble academy, totally loaded!

Bro can eat a chicken leg whenever he wants, munch on duck necks whenever he pleases, and have people washing his hands and wiping his mouth afterward!

No one noticed Gu Bai’s galloping thoughts. Meanwhile, Old Man Fang introduced the academy while leading the way.

Soon, they arrived at a large courtyard filled with multiple buildings.

Upon entering, they saw even more courtyards within courtyards—each student had ample privacy for romantic escapades. The soundproofing was so top-notch that no matter how loud someone got, it wouldn’t be heard in the next room.

Old Man Fang led Gu Bai to a small courtyard, then casually left.

Watching him leave, Gu Bai turned toward the small courtyard, his expression conflicted.

Why does this feel familiar?

…Wait.

Gu Bai suddenly realized that, aside from the guide, this was exactly like when he checked into the inn before.

—This was the tragedy of redundant descriptions. No matter how many locations he created, their structures always overlapped.

Making all maps feel like they were the same.

The small courtyard was a bit different, though. Besides the main house and two guest rooms, there were also several small single rooms on either side of the main house—these were the servants’ quarters.

The four maids quickly settled into their respective spots, occupying the two rooms on the left and the two on the right, ready to serve at any moment.

But Qi Guan Rui’s arrangement posed a bit of a dilemma.

Should he stay in the servant quarters? No way—Gu Bai couldn’t bear that.

Should he stay in the guest room? But the guest rooms were a bit too far from the main house…

Gu Bai hesitated even more.

Qi Guan Rui’s eyes shimmered as he called out, “Gege…”

Gu Bai: “…What?”

Brat, don’t think you can get away with this just by attacking me with those puppy-dog eyes!

Qi Guan Rui: “I want to stay with gege.”

Gu Bai: “…”

You’re already a grown man, and you’re still acting cute? Do you want people to suspect you’re into guys?

Qi Guan Rui: “When we were in the carriage, didn’t we live together just fine?”

Gu Bai: “…”

That was because there was no space, so I let you take advantage of the situation! Now that there is space, why do we still have to squeeze together? Kid, when you grow up, you have to learn to be independent! (→ which is totally not the case)

Qi Guan Rui: “I can stand guard at night for gege. Back in Tiandu City, we used to sleep together, didn’t we…?”

Gu Bai: “…”

That was at home. This is outside. How is it the same? At home, we could be as casual as we wanted, but now that we’re out, you need to behave properly, kid!

Qi Guan Rui: “Gege…”

Gu Bai completely lost.

He sighed and said, “I’ll leave a bed for you in the outer room.”

Qi Guan Rui tilted his head. “Then what about at night?”

Gu Bai: “…You can come in and sleep with me.”

Qi Guan Rui smiled contentedly, his expression soft and gentle.

Gu Bai silently turned his face away.

Fine, even though this feels way too suspect, I’ll let it slide just this once. He was bullied so much as a kid—he’s just lacking love. I’m older than him by so many years, giving him some warmth so he can feel a little happiness isn’t a big deal.

---

Pinky says: His jaw is surely sore from the words he has to chew.