Little Pink Starfish

On the day of the wedding, the hall was decked out in vibrant red, ready for the ceremony.  

Sang Mao, who had spent the previous days hiding in his room, supposedly weeping over his daughter (but not really), finally emerged and stood outside the wedding hall.  

Beside him stood Sang Jun, his face beaming with joy, as though he were the one giving his daughter away.  

Gu Bai arrived with a retinue of stunning maidens and a frail “male pet” in his arms. Their grand entrance, with an air of authority, was no less impressive than the assembly of Golden Phoenix City elites.  

Although Gu Bai was a mid-tier wu wang, this level of martial prowess was negligible to Sang Mao. As for Qiguan Rui, his aura was so well-contained that Sang Mao barely noticed him.  

However, when Sang Mao caught sight of Gu Bai’s impeccable appearance, he felt a pang of regret. If only this person had entered the marriage contest…

But Sang Mao had already investigated Gu Bai’s background. He was a city lord, a martial prodigy blessed with exceptional physique, heir to family martial arts, and even a student of Qingtian Academy—a true genius among geniuses. Someone like him refusing to marry into another family was only natural. 

Then Sang Mao noticed the delicate man in Gu Bai’s arms, and his face twitched. What’s so great about him? In all my years, I’ve never understood what two men could possibly achieve together. This young man’s taste is far too peculiar. Suddenly, he no longer felt regret.  

***

Inside the hall, everything was drenched in red—from the tables to the chairs to the walls, the whole space radiated joy and festivity.  

Two tall-backed chairs were positioned at the front, covered with red cushions. A red carpet stretched out before them.  

Gu Bai and his group entered, taking their seats on luxurious chairs to the right, representing the groom’s side. Qiguan Rui leaned against Gu Bai, while the maids stood respectfully behind him.  

Sang Mao and Sang Jun took the two main seats of honour in the hall.  

Gu Bai’s eyes widened. Something’s definitely off here. The people seated in the positions of honour should be the bride’s parents—why was the uncle sitting there instead? He soon noticed Sang Jun’s fleeting look of dissatisfaction. 

Sang Mao cheerfully addressed his younger brother, “Lingling’s mother passed away early, and I’ve been busy with martial training for years. You practically raised her single-handedly. It’s only fitting for her to bow to you, so there’s no need to decline.”  

For a brief moment, Sang Jun’s face twisted.  

Even Gu Bai, who knew he was a hypocrite, couldn’t help but mentally light a candle for him. A dignified man, being forcibly cast in the “loving mother” role by his oafish brother… No wonder he wants to kill him.

Outside, many guests were watching. Did Sang Mao not consider how his brother would be perceived sitting in that seat? Having such a brother was truly tragic. 

Gu Bai gave Sang Jun a subtle glance. Is this why he’s reached the point of wanting to commit fratricide?Even Gu Bai, meeting Sang Mao for the first time, wanted to throw something at his face.  

More frustratingly, Sang Mao genuinely believed he was doing his brother a favour! And he even explained himself in earnest—an explanation that only made things worse.  

Sang Jun’s tolerance was remarkable. He quickly regained his composure, his face taking on a reflective expression. “Time flies. Lingling has grown so much…” His demeanour was so convincing it almost looked like he might shed tears of joy.  

Gu Bai turned away, unwilling to watch this farce any longer.  

As dusk fell, the auspicious hour arrived.  

Golden Phoenix City’s lord had a good reputation, attracting a large number of guests. Even some of the young talents who had competed in the marriage contest, though still nursing grudges, showed up with barely healed faces.  

The hall was lively as the ceremony began.  

A dashing young man clad in red robes entered, holding one end of a red silk ribbon. His strikingly handsome features exuded charm, his every move brimming with elegance.  

At the other end of the ribbon was a petite young woman, her face obscured by a red veil, her slender figure swaying like a delicate willow.  

The young talents watching felt an inexplicable ache in their cheeks upon seeing the bride.  

The couple stood before the honoured seats.  

When Chen Yuanhao saw the “motherly” Sang Jun, his smile froze for a second.  

Sang Jun noticed his reaction, a fleeting shadow crossing his eyes.  

Gu Bai: …Pfft. The kind of humour you couldn’t share with anyone else was the most maddening!  

Just then, a figure appeared in front of the wedding hall with a whoosh. Hey, that’s familiar! Gu Bai immediately recognised the person.  

Damn, it’s Qiu Tu! Why is he also dressed in red? Is this a wedding crash?! …Wait. Could this still be a stallion world? After mentally stomping through a herd of alpacas, Gu Bai realised he was overthinking.  

Qiu Tu spoke concisely, “Bow to heaven and earth—”  

Bloody hell! He’s the wedding officiant! When Gu Bai thought about it, it wasn’t surprising. Since he, as the higher-ranking city lord, wasn’t officiating, it made sense for the groom’s side to appoint Qiu Tu.  

Gu Bai mourned his shattered dignity for a moment. Fine. Just because I’ve entered a yaoi subplot doesn’t mean everyone else has.

Qiguan Rui rested obediently on Gu Bai’s knee, an arrangement that no one else found strange.  

Perhaps, to the onlookers, this was just part of a high and aloof city lord’s dignified presence.  

The wedding proceeded smoothly. Qiu Tu performed his duties with professionalism, skipping unnecessary pleasantries while maintaining a respectable tone.  

Chen Yuanhao sneaked a grateful glance at him. Thanks, mate!

Qiu Tu gave him a subtle look, deciding not to antagonise him on his wedding day.  

The couple completed their bows—to heaven and earth, to their elders, and finally to each other.  

The bride was then escorted to the bridal chamber, where she would await the groom, who was sure to be drunk upon his arrival.  

Chen Yuanhao turned to see a crowd of ominous faces closing in. Though he recognised them vaguely, he couldn’t quite place them until he noticed the faint remnants of injuries on their faces. Oh. These are the former “pig heads.” He had bested these men to become the lord’s son-in-law. Naturally, he wouldn’t stoop to their level. ╮(╯▽╰)╭ But the malicious intent radiating from the group was unmistakable.  

They approached with congratulatory smiles, lining up to offer him drinks. 

These weren’t ordinary drinks—they were from a batch of 100-year-old wines that Sang Mao had begun brewing when his daughter was born. The alcohol content could easily exceed 60% in modern terms.  

And the vessels for drinking? Giant bowls the size of fans.  

Chen Yuanhao’s smile stiffened.  

Gu Bai glanced at the snaking line of people, then turned with Qiguan Rui toward the private banquet room reserved for their side of the family. He took Qiu Tu along—the only person who might have been able to help Chen Yuanhao with the drinking. It’s a wedding. If you don’t get wasted, is it even a wedding? 

Predictably, by the time the moon hung high in the sky and the bridal chamber beckoned, not even Chen Yuanhao’s wu jun-level martial prowess could save his trembling legs. Whether he managed to consummate the marriage was anyone’s guess. 

Late that night, Gu Bai stood by the window, gazing at the pale moonlight. For some reason, he felt a bittersweet tranquillity. Behind him, a strikingly handsome youth lay sprawled seductively on the bed, waiting for his freshly bathed lover to join him.  

When the wait grew too long, the youth got up, wrapped his arms around Gu Bai’s waist, and murmured, “Gege, why aren’t you sleeping? What are you looking at?” 

Gu Bai remained expressionless.  

Qiguan Rui sighed softly. “Are you troubled by something? If something is bothering you, tell me, and I’ll remove it for you. Wouldn’t that make you happy?” 

Gu Bai replied, “I am not troubled.”  

Qiguan Rui tilted his head. “Then what is it?”  

Gu Bai stayed silent. How could I tell him I’m staying up to watch a good show? Before Gu Bai could concoct an excuse, a deep, ancient roar shattered the night’s calm.  

The sound jolted many from their sleep.  

Gu Bai’s eyes lit up. It’s here!

Qiguan Rui turned toward the window. That’s a beast’s roar. How could it appear within the heavily guarded city lord’s mansion?  

As the ground began to quake, a colossal shadow rose under the moonlight, beating its chest and roaring into the sky.  

“ROOOAAARRRR!”  

****

Pinky says: I agree with Gu Bai, people suffering is hilarious.