Little Pink Starfish

No matter how much Gu Bai’s heart was screaming, “Are you freaking kidding me?” on repeat, his face remained impassive as he followed Qi Guanrui and their zombie entourage into Qingyang Town.

The interior of Qingyang Town still looked the same as before—villagers bustling about, and quite a few martial artists moving through the streets. That should have been a very normal scene, but… Would martial artists in a normal martial city pass by a group of zombies and act like nothing was out of the ordinary?! Would normal townsfolk treat zombies as if they were respected family heads or clan leaders, bowing politely?! Shouldn’t they at least show some fear?! At the very least, their expressions should change, right?! Don’t just treat zombies like they’re your neighbours, okay?! Normal, my ass! Gu Bai was too tired to complain anymore and could only keep his face blank.

As they walked, Qi Guanrui softly and gently explained things to Gu Bai along the way: “Gege, look over there. That’s the house of the X family. It was renovated just two years ago—perhaps it’s quite nice?” After taking a few more steps, he pointed out another place. “The XX family’s abilities are lacking, but they’re quite wealthy. Their house has a beautifully landscaped garden; it’s truly exceptional… If gege doesn’t like either, you can come home with me to the Qi Guan family. Although, my place is more on the simple side and not as grand… What do you think, gege?” His attitude was like the entirety of Wu Town’s properties were his to manage—he could let you enjoy them however you pleased. Not only was it domineering, but it was practically a masterpiece in the category of robber-like behaviour.

Gu Bai silently lit a metaphorical candle for the people of Qingyang Town. To be ruled by someone as insane as this… What an absolutely tragic fate… Perhaps the only solace was that not every resident had been controlled by the snake gu.

From Gu Bai’s observations, aside from being brainwashed to think “those zombies are completely normal,” the townsfolk’s other thoughts remained relatively intact. When they saw all the clan heads and family leaders gathered to escort a guest back, their gazes at Gu Bai were filled with awe and amazement. Meanwhile, when they looked at Qi Guanrui, their expressions were full of raw envy and reverence.

After the maniac finished his introductions, Gu Bai, who had been spacing out, returned to himself and said, “Take me to your home.”

Qi Guanrui smiled faintly and responded gently, “Alright.”

And so, the two of them walked together toward the Qi Guan family’s grand estate. Zombies paved the way, small ghostly beings followed along, and the atmosphere was filled with chilling yin energy. Suddenly, the view opened up, and in the distance, two people—a man and a woman—stood side by side in front of the estate. Their garments fluttered gracefully as if they were waiting for someone.

Gu Bai froze for a moment, then recognized the woman. Wasn’t that the lunatic’s fiancée?! The corner of his mouth twitched. This was like a scene straight out of a romance novel—she was basically a living “Loyal Lover’s Statue.”

Come to think of it, he had completely forgotten about that fiancée, who should have been the first member of the maniac’s harem! After being rejected by Gu Bai, wasn’t it only natural for her to come back and marry the lunatic instead? Wait… Was the lunatic bringing him here to introduce the mistress to the official wife?! What the hell?! Who wants to be the mistress fighting the legitimate wife?! Especially when he, Gu Bai, was a flawless and perfect beauty servant! _{[T/N: Serving cunt.]}

The closer they got, the more conflicted Gu Bai felt. What should he do? Was he about to get slapped? Should he just turn around and leave? And lunatic, could you stop holding my waist so tightly and provoking your wife, damn it?!…Wait a minute. If the girl got furious, wouldn’t this be the perfect opportunity to break away from the lunatic? Please, girl, save me! Hurry up and come scratch me up!

With this in mind, Gu Bai’s eyes lit up slightly as they were getting closer and closer. Ten meters… Five meters… The girl was right in front of him! He could almost see a bright and happy future waving at him!

Qi Guanrui spoke gently, “Gege, let me introduce you. This is my biological elder brother, Qi Guan Yao, and beside him is my sister-in-law…” He tilted his head and smiled. “Gege should know her.”

…What?! It wasn’t the lunatic’s wife?!

Completely ignoring the subtle hint of danger in Qi Guanrui’s tone, Gu Bai felt his worldview crack a little. This shouldn’t be happening… This wasn’t how the plot was supposed to go… Why would the lunatic give up a beauty who was already in his grasp? That wasn’t in line with the nature of a harem protagonist, damn it! There had to be something wrong with the way he visited today!

Gu Bai steadied himself and looked at the girl and the handsome man again.
Wow, the guy was dashing, and the girl was gorgeous—if you ignored their identities, they looked like a perfect match. But would the lunatic really be this kind-hearted? He looked more carefully— As expected, both the girl and the man had slightly stiff expressions. No doubt about it—they were “gu-people.” How was he, a mentally shattered Gu Bai, supposed to face a physically gu-controlled girl?

At that moment, Gu Bai felt a strange sense of shared misery with the girl. His resentment faded significantly. Humans are just like this: when suffering, discovering someone who is worse off creates a subtle sense of balance. What a flaw in human nature… Gu Bai sighed inwardly, thinking his own luck wasn’t that bad after all.

The pair of gu-people forced an unnatural smile after Qi Guanrui’s introduction. “Greetings, both of you.”

Gu Bai: “…” What a tragedy! Even their tongues were stiff! Unable to bear watching any longer, Gu Bai turned his head away and said, “Let’s go in.”

Qi Guanrui’s eyes gleamed with affection. “Alright.”

Inside the estate, the number of zombies decreased significantly. Most of the servants were normal people. Under Qi Guanyao and Luo Suluo’s arrangements, guest rooms were prepared in no time, along with a lavish banquet. Everyone in the estate worked tirelessly to serve the two of them.

The clan heads and family leaders who had greeted them earlier kept bringing over recent account books and documents for Qi Guanrui to review. No matter what he did, they acted like it was completely normal, their faces stiff and lifeless. They were all still alive, but essentially no more than the walking dead.

The snake gu’s corruption was too powerful. At first, it only controlled their thoughts, forcing them to obey. But eventually, it would erode their minds entirely, turning them into mindless puppets. Gu Bai used an elegant phrase to describe it: “brain death.”

After brain death, being parasitized by the snake gu turned people into a kind of unscientific, horror-movie-style undead. The only redeeming qualities were that, If necessary, they could look completely normal—though this consumed a lot of energy and couldn’t be used often, and they didn’t stink up the place with rotting odours

The original shut-in author gave himself a mental pat on the back for his foresight. Thank goodness he didn’t go for a more horrifying effect; otherwise, if the estate were full of guts and intestines spilling everywhere, it would’ve been a nightmare!

But regardless, Qingyang Town had been completely under Qi Guanrui’s control for a long time. This martial city became his base of operations and his stronghold. For Qi Guanrui, it held too many memories—whether of his rise to prominence or his failures, whether of being mocked by everyone or picked up by someone—it all mattered to him in some way. So when he decided to cultivate his relationship with Gu Bai further, he didn’t hesitate to bring him back here. As for the results… ╮(╯▽╰)╭

After dinner, Qi Guanrui picked Gu Bai up and settled them both into a thickly cushioned, soft chair. Unconcerned, Qi Guanrui began reviewing various documents while occasionally asking for Gu Bai’s opinion. As for Gu Bai, seeing the lunatic acting so defenceless, he once again felt a strange… misperception. Damn it, it had to be a misperception!

Qi Guanrui skimmed through the documents at lightning speed, much faster than Gu Bai. While silently cursing the lunatic’s ridiculous photographic memory, Gu Bai started to feel drowsy. In truth, he really didn’t like reading documents. If they were about his own business, he could push through for the sake of money. But if not, what was the point?

Just as the last document was finished, the zombie-faced couple returned. Note: They were now the Qi Guan family’s patriarch and matriarch.

Qi Guanrui glanced at them. “What’s the matter?”

Qi Guanyao said, “Sssssss—sssssssss—”

Gu Bai was speechless. Speak human language, for fuck’s sake!

Qi Guanrui frowned slightly. “Whenever my gege is present, report in human language.”

Qi Guanyao replied, “Understood.”

Qi Guanrui nodded. “Speak.”

Qi Guanyao, his expression stiff, said, “While you were away, the house was robbed.”

Qi Guanrui raised an eyebrow. “And the thief?”

Qi Guanyao answered, “Caught. In the dungeon.”

The half-asleep Gu Bai instantly perked up at the keywords. A thief who broke into the Qiguan* estate while the lunatic was away? Could it be that person? This was an important clue to unlocking the Demon Domain storyline! This part of the plot had already been delayed for far too long—all because the lunatic kept acting on his own! Author here, begging for respect for the original plot, okay?!

_{*[T/N: Ah fuck, it’s Qiguan Rui.]}

Qiguan Rui hadn’t paid much attention to the so-called thief, but then he noticed Gu Bai suddenly becoming spirited… Why was that? He pondered silently, unable to figure it out for the moment.

In his view, Ziche Shubai wasn’t the type to do pointless things. If he cared about this matter… Unless there was something Qiguan Rui didn’t know but that Ziche Shubai had already discovered. But they were practically inseparable—how could there be something Ziche Shubai knew that he didn’t?

Thinking along these lines, Qiguan Rui became intrigued. He decided to bring Ziche Shubai along, both to check it out and to observe him. And so, Qiguan Rui smiled and said, “Gege, would you accompany me to take a look?”

Gu Bai, expressionless, nodded. Of course! He also wanted to meet that thief who was a demoness in the original story!

Qiguan Yao led the way, opening a hidden door. The two of them followed the passageway down a long staircase that led deep underground. This was the Qi Guan family’s dungeon, used for imprisoning and punishing those who violated family rules. Naturally, any captured enemies would also be confined here.

Qiguan Rui and Gu Bai were both extremely skilled, and their ability to see in the dark made navigating the stairs a trivial matter. The stone passageway led to rows of cells, with numerous torches lining the walls. The flickering flames not only added light but also cast eerie shadows, making the dungeon even more chilling. It was cold and dark, the kind of place that weighed heavily on one’s mind.

Qiguan Yao led them to the innermost cell. It was constructed from incredibly sturdy metal, with bars so closely spaced that even a small finger couldn’t fit through. The cell was both extremely secure and extremely tight. Inside, there was a lone figure.

***

Pinky says: What an absolute revelation. Turns out, it’s fucking “Qiguan Rui”. Shit biscuits. Ah well, such is life.