I once had such a dream.
A dream of falling from a high place.
The context of the dream begins to fade after opening my eyes. Therefore, what I can recall at best are sensations. For example:
In some city. A forest of densely packed skyscrapers. My body falls through a gap in between. I see my own body through the glass windows embroidered on the building’s exterior. Beyond one glass, then beyond another, my body, reflected through the thin glass, keeps tilting downward endlessly.
There is no fear at the moment of falling.
Fear continues only until before falling.
In other words, I fear heights because I have not yet fallen.
Is that a relief, I wonder.
While thinking that, at some moment, I touch the ground.
And wake up from the dream.
Suffering from the faint sensation, I scratch the back of my neck.
And I think:
“Maybe I’ll grow taller.”
<We’ve arrived.>
As Star spoke.
“Ugh?”
My body tilted sharply.
“Don’t tell me you’re trying to throw me now?”
I stared at the spire beneath my feet. The highest floor of the white spire was wrapped in glass. Beyond it, faint human figures could be seen. Not one, but two. They were probably Aiden and Jeong Hangyeol. I pursed my lips briefly and imagined my body crashing through that glass.
“Do I really have to make an entrance like this?”
I looked up and asked Star.
<Wouldn’t it be more impressive? Here we go.>
At the same time Star finished speaking, my body was thrown.
I tightly closed my eyes and curled my limbs around my torso.
At the same time, the sound of shattering.
With the sound of glass breaking, my body tumbled onto the floor. It didn’t hurt at all, making me feel like sighing. I opened my eyes and brushed off the shards of glass clinging to my body.
And when I looked ahead.
<…So that’s how it is.>
I saw Star standing with his back to me.
<So that’s why Papa attached that kid to us.>
Such bad taste, he said with a bitter smile.
What was that supposed to mean? I tilted my head and looked beyond Star. Aiden and Jeong Hangyeol were staring at me. A table placed between the two. I saw a familiar face and opened my eyes wide.
“That’s….”
…it’s Juna?
I stared at Juna, who had collapsed unconscious. Perhaps because my mind froze, I unknowingly stepped forward.
<Wait.>
Star’s arm blocked me.
<What do you intend to do?>
With a blunt expression, Star looked back at me.
<His soul still remains in his body. You should be able to perceive it now. Clear your mind and observe.>
“Ah, okay.”
I brushed back my hair.
And stood beside Star.
“I never imagined things would get so tangled like this, Eunyul.”
Aiden said to me with a bright smile.
“Back during CYB, I considered you just a slightly bothersome contestant. I never dreamed you would interfere with my plans like this. Of course….”
Aiden’s gaze narrowed.
“I did know even then that you were a contractor of Satan….”
“…Do we really have to do this?”
I frowned and asked.
“I’ve looked into your motives. At first, I thought you were trying to become a Star. To reach the realm of godhood with a human body—an ambition worth having once, perhaps.”
“Ah, yes.”
Aiden smiled and nodded.
“After all, humans tend to behave as if they were gods, don’t they? Like crushing ants one by one. Even though this world should be a public good, they build houses as they please, kill any bugs that enter, or lock up a small cat inside for its entire life.”
As if they were gods, he said to me.
“But your goal isn’t to become a Star. That’s just a bonus that comes along.”
Like a necessary and sufficient condition.
As I muttered that, Aiden shrugged.
“Eunyul, none of this means anything to me. I just want people to suffer a bit. Because people live too comfortably. Doesn’t that bother you?”
Think back to when you tried to kill yourself, he whispered.
“Why do people choose death? Isn’t it because they believe they shouldn’t exist in this world? Lonely people who can’t blend in choose death, failures who can’t face others choose death too. And….”
Aiden’s gaze shifted toward Jeong Hangyeol.
“Even under the brightest spotlight, people like us can die one day as if it were a lie.”
Though that’s so.
“But death is too easily forgotten.”
<You sure talk a lot, kid.>
Suddenly, Star spoke.
“Hello, Manager Kim Star?”
<Shut it. I didn’t choose that name because I wanted it.>
Tsk, Star clicked his tongue.
<I’ve watched your antics closely. For a human, you’re quite remarkable.>
For a human….<Remarkably full of hatred for the world.>
“Such high praise embarrasses me. To hear such words from the King of Hell.”
Aiden smiled with a sigh.
<I don’t particularly care about your deeds. If you become a Star, that is fate. If you can’t, that too is fate. Your wish is trivial to me. However….>
Star’s gaze shifted toward me.
<My contractor seems to think otherwise.>
“…Jeong Hangyeol.”
I spoke to Jeong Hangyeol.
“I…. I know who you are.”
I felt I needed to say that first.
Since no one else would remember him. As a childhood fan of Rowen listening to Codess’s music, Jeong Hangyeol was naturally special to me. But my memories of him were jumbled. Probably because all memories were erased after Jeong Hangyeol’s disappearance, and what remained were the data I had gathered through my investigation.
At the same time, I realized that Aiden had revived not only Jeong Hangyeol’s body but something else too. This unpleasant sensation growing inside my chest. Its source was none other than guilt. It felt like my disjointed memories were being reconstructed after losing Jeong Hangyeol.
“I liked Codess’s music. I liked Rowen the most…. I never disliked any member, so I must have liked Jeong Hangyeol too. No—I did like you. My memories are returning, so I can be sure of it. But….”
What should I say?
Once I opened my mouth, my mind went blank. Should I say I regret that he chose to disappear? Or say I’m glad to meet him again, even like this? As I bit my lower lip, I finally blurted out.
“…This is wrong!”
I shouted, as if vomiting my words.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that this is all I can say.”
“There’s no need to apologize.”
In a calm tone, Jeong Hangyeol spoke.
“Let’s stop here.”
Then Jeong Hangyeol glared at Aiden.
“I shouldn’t have been revived. So let’s stop now. My soul should be broken apart again and returned to where it belongs.”
<That won’t solve anything.>
With arms crossed, Star spoke.
<Creature, countless lives were already destroyed to reconstruct your soul. Piecing you back together won’t bring those lives back. Just as fitting puzzle pieces together doesn’t make a perfect picture. Of course, they could be revived. But they would live with fractured souls. Either damaged memories, physical impairments, or mental disorders.>
You have done something irreversible, he declared in a quiet tone.
<Neither death nor revival can be undone.>
“Then… what should I do?”
To Jeong Hangyeol’s question,
<You must die.>
Star answered firmly.
<I only want to say that your death shouldn’t be considered noble.>
“…Haha!”
Aiden burst into laughter.
“This is why I hate gods.”
He glared at Star.
“I’ve already achieved everything I set out to do. Satan… no, ‘The Star Hated by All.’”
<Is that so.>
Star shrugged nonchalantly.
“Of course. Did you think I was trying to defeat you? No way. I just wanted people to remember death. To feel guilty, to suffer.”
Jeong Hangyeol will not disappear. He will simply die. Aiden, who inherited that stage name, would also be disposed of. The Stars would decree death, not disappearance. That had been Aiden’s goal from the beginning.
To let death be known.
“The human world is frozen because of me right now… but what will happen once it moves again?”
At Aiden’s question, I drew a conclusion based on my own state of mind.
People will regain memories that were lost due to Jeong Hangyeol’s disappearance.
<Did you not consider that we might erase those memories again?>
“You can’t. You’re cowards.”
Aiden spoke firmly.
“Am I wrong? You fear this world. That’s why you don’t revive those who die unjustly, nor do you kill those who deserve it.”
<…Cowards, you say.>
Star chuckled faintly.
<In a way, you’re right. More precisely, we fear overwork.>
To reconstruct all these deviations, many Stars would have to exert their powers. Correcting human memories, restoring damaged souls, and resolving countless issues that arose in between.
<And if you ask whether this world is worth all that effort….>
…it isn’t, he muttered.
Hearing Star’s words, Aiden began to laugh quietly. Listening to the bitter mixture of laughter, I turned back. Star must have thought that these matters wouldn’t be resolved in such outdated ways.
‘They’ve arrived.’
Narrowing my eyes, I caught sight of the figures flying in from afar.
As I identified each of them, I thought that it was finally time to bring everything to an end.
Little Pink Starfish 
Leave a comment