Little Pink Starfish

“Is there anyone who would like to exercise their right to refuse Han Iro’s offer?”

At Aiden’s question, Jeong Noeul shot his hand up.

“No one’s going to refuse!”

“…Uh, I asked who would exercise their right to refuse…”

Aiden looked a bit flustered, probably thrown off by how boldly Jeong Noeul shouted.

“I’m answering that no one will!”

Beaming, Jeong Noeul gave Min Heejae a playful elbow to the side.

“You say something cool too, hyung!”

“…Are you saying your own line was cool? Well, fine. I’ll chime in.”

Min Heejae sighed and added with a shrug,

“Who would refuse when the best team is already formed? Don’t you agree?”

For some reason, Min Heejae had dropped to 6th place, just outside the top five. Maybe he said something strange during the N-LIVE session. But he didn’t seem disappointed.

“What about contestant Ryu Eunyul?”

Aiden looked to me and asked.

Han Iro, Jeong Noeul, Min Heejae—

…every contestant’s eyes were now on me.

“I, I…”

Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.

It felt like something was lodged in my throat. I couldn’t speak.

The CYB male idol division uniforms, designed like school uniforms, looked too much like real ones now.

It felt like they were going to break out in applause at any moment—

Like they were all smiling, congratulating me on my father’s death.

“You’re not going to refuse, right?”

A voice from behind.

“…Dojin?”

I turned around and saw Madojin standing there.

“I know you well, Eunyul. You’re not the type to back down. Then there’s no reason to hesitate, is there?”

He murmured with a faint smile.

Clench.

I gripped my thigh as if to crush it.

Then I turned back to Aiden.

“I won’t exercise my refusal.”

“…Heh.”

Aiden laughed.

Somehow, it felt like he was mocking me.

“Very cool. Then we’ll finalize contestant Han Iro’s team—”

“Please wait.”

Madojin cut him off, raising his hand.

“I’d like to exercise my right to refuse.”

“Dojin hyung?!”

Jeong Noeul cried out, stunned.

Even Han Iro looked frozen, mouth agape.

“…Why?”

I whispered quietly, just loud enough for him to hear.

“I don’t want you to stay here, Eunyul. If refusing this can push you toward leaving, I’ll do it. Hate me if you want. But from now on, I’ll be hoping you get eliminated.”

Madojin spoke coldly.

“…Because I want you to survive.”

Then he turned his back on me.

I just watched him walk away.

“Contestant Han Iro, what will you do?”

Aiden, likely cursing Madojin in his head, asked with his usual bright tone.

“Would you like to recruit someone else or finalize your team now?”

Han Iro bit his lip.

I could easily guess his thoughts.

This would likely be his last chance to enjoy the privilege of recruiting as 1st place.

After this round, the order of recruitment would reverse from 5th to 1st.

He would have the final pick, with no guarantee anyone worthwhile would be left.

‘More importantly…’

Han Iro probably planned to form a 5-person team.

‘He gathered people close to me…’

It was clearly to make sure I could perform comfortably on stage.

Given that goal, adding someone else would only complicate things.

“…I’ll finalize the recruitment.”

Han Iro said, eyes fixed on Madojin.

---

The team was formed.

In the end, it was me, Han Iro, Min Heejae, and Jeong Noeul.

“Let’s start by picking a team name!”

The moment we entered the conference room, Jeong Noeul bounced with enthusiasm.

“How about letting the instrument name the team?”

Min Heejae said, resting a hand on my shoulder.

“No, I—”

Before I could protest—

“You don’t know how terrible Eunyul hyung’s naming sense is, do you? You’ll regret that choice forever. I’m telling you now—take it back.”

Jeong Noeul warned him with a dead-serious look.

“Haha…”

I chuckled, sitting down.

“…Eunyul hyung. At least cuss me out a little.”

Jeong Noeul sat across from me, pouting.

“We can figure out the name later. Noeul, stop bothering him and chew on this.”

Han Iro placed a plastic container in the middle of the table.

“What’s this? Snacks?”

Jeong Noeul asked as he opened the lid—

“Urgh!”

—and reeled back in horror.

“It’s better to snack while we talk. I brought this from my room. Help yourselves.”

Han Iro beamed.

Inside the container were dried vegetables.

“You think we’re chickens or something?!”

Jeong Noeul shot up in protest.

“Dried veggies have stronger flavor, more umami. And since they lose moisture, their vitamins, minerals, and fiber content goes way up. So just eat it.”

Han Iro approached with a smile and a piece of dried shiitake mushroom.

“I said no! It’s not even seasoned! Urgh—!!”

Han Iro forced the mushroom into Noeul’s mouth.

“Well then, before we begin…”

Han Iro sat and turned to me.

“Eunyul.”

“…Yeah?”

“You know you’re not getting out of this, right?”

“…What are you talking about?”

I asked, clueless, and Han Iro frowned.

“Over the weekend you shut everyone out. But not this time. It’s just us—people close to you.”

“So…?”

“…Sigh.”

Han Iro gave an exasperated laugh.

“Instrument.”

Min Heejae said, sitting beside me.

“Iro wants to hear it from you—what really happened in the Boy A incident.”

“…Ah.”

Only then did I realize what he meant.

“I haven’t seen it myself, but didn’t it all come out in the news?”

“It did.”

Min Heejae nodded.

“Your father, a soldier, died from magical contamination. Your family struggled financially. In middle school, as a victim of bullying, you sent a suicide note to multiple government departments to raise awareness. You then disappeared from the public eye until you appeared on CYB.”

He recited it with clinical precision—but then his tone cooled.

“But that can’t possibly be the whole story.”

“He’s right, Eunyul hyung.”

Jeong Noeul chimed in.

“We don’t care about the facts.”

“We want to know your heart, dummy.”

Han Iro summed it up and called me a fool.

And honestly, the fact that I hadn’t realized it until now made me feel a bit foolish too.

“Would you tell us?”

Min Heejae asked.

“I want to understand you better.”

Jeong Noeul added.

“Because we all want to be your strength.”

Han Iro smiled, resting his chin on his hand.

“…I’ve never…”

With my head lowered, I spoke.

“…I’ve never talked about this before, so I don’t know if I can do it well.”

And then, slowly, I began.

---

After the Gate closed, the world found peace again.

But maybe that peace was only visible because humanity’s expectations for peace had dropped so low.

I often thought that as a child.

Later, I learned that soldiers exposed to magic contamination often became infertile.

So I must’ve been born against the odds.

In elementary school, we had to talk about our parents’ jobs.

I said my dad was sick and not working, but used to be a soldier.

One of the class clowns raised his hand and said—

Aren’t soldiers all disabled?

“…That’s what he said.”

“Mm. I see.”

Han Iro nodded.

“How did that make you feel, Eunyul?”

“Hmm…”

I’d never thought about how it made me feel.

“…I don’t know. It felt like something heavy just dropped inside me.”

Is Dad disabled?

Well, so what?

There’s no shame in having a disabled parent.

But my classmates seemed to think I should be ashamed.

That’s when I started getting isolated.

Each school year, I’d hear whispers about me at the start of the semester.

“Those bastards…”

Jeong Noeul clenched his teeth.

“Weren’t you angry at them, hyung?”

“I was… but…”

Fear smothered the anger.

“…I thought I could endure it.”

I knew the other kids didn’t like me.

But that was okay—I didn’t like them much either.

I had things I did like.

I liked my mom, and my dad.

I liked music.

Then, in middle school, my dad passed away.

When I returned to school after the funeral, everyone was “celebrating” my dad’s death.

“They put white chrysanthemums on my desk…”

But they were too filthy to mean condolence.

From that point, I couldn’t control myself anymore.

I thought about what weapons I had.

I wasn’t strong, or cold-hearted.

So what could I wield?

Then I realized—

Ah, I must want to die.

So death… might be all I had left.

“…That’s how the Boy A incident happened.”

Min Heejae murmured.

“It was wrong. Most of all…”

I did something unforgivable to my mom.

She saw the suicide note and instantly realized it was me.

Even though I hadn’t mentioned personal info in it.

I had written that I would jump from the Hunter Memorial Hall in Yongsan-gu.

On that day, as I prepared to leave the house, Mom asked—

Are you going there to die?

She brought me to the memorial hall.

We looked down at the ground from the window together.

Can you really jump?

She asked, and I shook my head.

She said it was okay.

Held me close and kept saying it was okay, over and over.

That it would all be okay even if I didn’t jump.

The next day, we went to school together and submitted my withdrawal.

I started preparing for my GED.

And one day, YN Entertainment scouted me.

“…That’s everything.”

When I finished, everyone just silently stared at me.

“You haven’t contacted your mom, have you?”

Han Iro broke the silence.

I nodded.

“Then how about calling her now?”

Jeong Noeul smiled gently.

I nodded again.

“Is there anything we can help with?”

Min Heejae asked, sighing.

I shook my head.

Then I stopped, looked up, and glanced around the room.

“Everyone…”

I hesitated, then finally managed to ask,

“…Will you stay with me while I call her?”

…Everyone smiled and nodded.