Little Pink Starfish

Hmph, You Know What That Means

And just like that, the Seventh Prince Yu Ziyi, still sound asleep, had a new place to live decided by his imperial father and elder sister. You couldn’t say Emperor Xianzong and Yu Xiaoxiao didn’t care about the little prince—considering his safety on the journey, the emperor summoned all his shadow guards to carefully select the ones who would escort him.

Afraid her foolish emperor father would hold back the best men, Yu Xiaoxiao told Xiao Wei, who had entered the palace with her, “Check the headcount, make sure everyone’s here.”

Xiao Wei looked over the guards assembled in the courtyard and nodded to Yu Xiaoxiao. “The numbers match.”

Xianzong leaned in and asked, “Linglong, how do you want to choose them?”

“Of course I’ll pick the ones with the best martial skills,” Yu Xiaoxiao replied.

Xianzong let out an “Oh.” In his mind, as well as in Xiao Wei’s and the shadow guards’, choosing the best martial artists meant having them spar. The shadow guards all relaxed—fighting matches were part of their daily routine.

Xiao Wei asked Yu Xiaoxiao, “Princess, should we pair them off for one-on-one matches?”

Yu Xiaoxiao rolled up her sleeves. “No need to go through all that trouble. I’ll test them myself and see who’s strong and who’s not.”

Upon hearing this, the shadow guards collectively clenched. Was this still a place where people could survive?!

Xiao Wei gave his former comrades a sympathetic look and quietly stepped aside. Fortunately, he was no longer a shadow guard.

Seeing his daughter warming up, Emperor Xianzong felt sorry for his guards and reminded her, “Go easy. Don’t kill anyone, okay?”

What nonsense!

The shadow guards glared at the emperor. Go easy? So crippling them was fine? What a cold-blooded, heartless sovereign!

Yu Xiaoxiao shot back, “And you don’t have any fatherly love? What if they injure me instead?” Just because she was mighty didn’t mean she didn’t need concern, alright? Foolish emperor!

Xianzong was speechless…

The guards almost wet themselves. Who on earth could possibly injure her? Show us that person—if he exists!

“Then, then be careful too,” Xianzong said, frowning deeply. Let’s just be father and daughter for this life—next life, let’s pretend we never knew each other.

“All of you, come at once,” Yu Xiaoxiao said as she stepped into the center of the courtyard, cracking her knuckles loudly.

The guards really wanted to flee, but they had no choice—an emperor’s command was like gold. So they charged forward together, teeth clenched.

Xianzong had expected a series of one-on-one matches. Instead, his jaw dropped as he watched his daughter singlehandedly beat down the entire squad.

Xiao Wei stood off to the side, staring up at the sky. Honestly, this kind of scene was too brutal to watch.

In less than a minute, all the guards were lying flat on the ground. Though the snow in the courtyard had been cleared, the guards still felt like they’d fallen into an ice pit. Damn it, were they really so weak that the princess could mow them down like chickens? Or… were they just chickens to begin with?

Xianzong propped his chin with his hand and closed his gaping mouth. He didn’t feel particularly impressed by his daughter—just incredibly sorry for his poor guards.

Yu Xiaoxiao shook her head. Too weak. If Mo Wen showed up to assassinate someone, these guys wouldn’t even be able to protect her dimwitted emperor father.

After a long silence, Xianzong finally found his voice. “Do you think any of them are up to the task?”

Yu Xiaoxiao turned and asked, “If they’re not, who else can you send?”

Imperial guards? Palace troops? Xianzong shook his head—his daughter had already beaten both groups before.

“Him, him, and these few over here,” Yu Xiaoxiao said, pointing at a few groaning figures on the ground. “Their skills are passable.”

Xianzong looked at them—weren’t they all lying down like the others? “How can you tell?”

“They take the beating the best,” Yu Xiaoxiao replied.

The “most resilient” guards: …

“Alright, then you guys it is,” Xianzong waved his hand. Decision made. Even if it was unpleasant, it had to be done. Watching his daughter fight too often might just give him a heart condition.

With that happily resolved (sort of), Yu Xiaoxiao took Xiao Wei to the imperial kitchen, hauled out half a pig carcass, and left the palace in fairly good spirits.

The next morning, the selected shadow guards arrived at the Gu Residence. They departed the capital with Granny Wei and her group, escorting the still-sleeping Yu Ziyi toward Wuzhou.

The day after, Yu Xiaoxiao and Gu Xinglang finished their own preparations and set off with 66 trunks full of gold, silver, and jewels.

That morning, Xianzong delayed court and personally led Prince Rui, Prince Yu, and the princes to see his daughter and son-in-law off outside the city.

Xianzong said to Yu Xiaoxiao, “Be careful on the road. Eat well, drink well, and then eat and drink even better when you come back.”

Everyone around them fell silent. That’s all His Majesty had to say to the princess?

Yu Xiaoxiao nodded. “Don’t worry, Father, I won’t let myself go hungry.”

Xianzong then turned to Gu Xinglang. “Don’t get into unnecessary fights, don’t meddle in others’ business, don’t trust strangers too easily, guard the birthday gift, and take good care of the princess.”

Everyone went silent again. So the princess got to eat, drink, and play, and the prince consort had to do all the work? Suddenly, everyone felt a little sorry for him.

Gu Xinglang bowed. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

Xianzong patted Gu Xinglang’s shoulder and whispered, “Qinghui, the princess is still young, so you’ll need to be patient with her. I’m entrusting her to you.” He wasn’t entirely satisfied with this son-in-law, but compared to his unreliable daughter, this man was at least trustworthy.

Gu Xinglang bowed again. “Understood, Your Majesty. Please rest assured—I will take good care of the princess.”

While Xianzong was talking with his son-in-law, Prince Yu sidled up to Yu Xiaoxiao and whispered, “Princess, be careful of Li Xiaoyuan.”

Yu Xiaoxiao said, “Don’t worry, Ninth Uncle, that guy can’t beat me.”

“We’re not worried about him fighting,” Prince Yu said quickly. “We’re worried he’ll play dirty.”

Play dirty?

Yu Xiaoxiao frowned. People in this world sure weren’t straightforward—she really did need to be on guard for underhanded tricks from Li Xiaoyuan.

“Li Xiaoyuan holds grudges and always seeks revenge,” Prince Yu warned, fully slandering the man who had once brought him shame.

“Seeks what?” Yu Xiaoxiao asked.

Prince Yu… Was that rumor about his grand-niece being uneducated actually true?

Just then, Prince Rui came over and told Yu Xiaoxiao, “Princess, the red jade Vermilion Bird among the birthday gifts is the most valuable. Be sure to guard it carefully on the journey.”

Yu Xiaoxiao nodded, then asked, “Fifth Uncle, why is a bird so valuable? Does Li Xiaoyuan like birds or something?”

Prince Rui… How exactly did Old Fourth raise his daughter?

At that moment, Yu Ziqing led his younger brothers in a neat row to stand before Yu Xiaoxiao. The little ones looked rather sad.

“I’ll be back,” Yu Xiaoxiao said, lifting each of her brothers by the collar and giving them a little shake. “If anyone slacks off in their studies and turns into a bad kid, then when I get back—hmph, you know what’s coming.”