Little Pink Starfish

Wang Mama Who’s Afraid the Princess Will Be Bullied

Seeing Wang Mama lecturing his wife with no end in sight, Gu Xinglang raised his hand and said gently, “Mama, please eat—if you wait any longer, the food will get cold.”

Taking advantage of the moment when Wang Mama paused to respond to Gu Xinglang, Xiao Wei leaned over and asked Yu Xiaoxiao, “Princess, why are you going to Zhuque?”

“Li Xiaoyuan is turning fifty,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “Xiao Gu and I are going to attend his birthday banquet.”

“They’re sending the Princess and the Prince Consort for that?” Xiao Wei said in disbelief. Since when were royals used as envoys?

“I don’t want to go either,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “But my dad said Li Xiaoyuan’s a piece of work. He’s afraid someone else would get tortured. Last time, my Ninth Uncle went and got treated like a dog by that guy.”

The story of Prince Yu being humiliated in Zhuque had spread across the Six Kingdoms. Although it had been nearly twenty years, Gu Xinglang, Xiao Zhuang, and Xiao Wei—though not even born at the time—had all heard about it.

Wang Mama spoke again: “It was right after Prince Yu returned that His Majesty sent Princess Fuhui to Zhuque in marriage. Nearly twenty years now… I wonder how she’s been doing.”

Yu Xiaoxiao’s head was spinning. From the way Wang Mama said it, it didn’t sound like her aunt married for love. More like her dumb dad got scared by Li Xiaoyuan and sent her aunt over as a gift?

Xiao Wei asked, “Princess, how many people are you and the Prince Consort planning to take?”

Yu Xiaoxiao looked to Gu Xinglang. “What do you think, Xiao Gu?”

Gu Xinglang asked, “What did His Majesty say?”

“My dad said I can take whoever I want.”

“Then let’s take as many as we can,” Gu Xinglang said. This birthday feast wasn’t going to be some merry occasion.

“I want to go too!” the First Prince told Yu Xiaoxiao.

“You can’t,” she shook her head. “Father forbade it.”

“Why?” the Fourth Prince asked.

“We’re going to fight,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “Maybe after you grow a few more years. What if the people from Zhuque hurt you?”

The First Prince looked at his own frame and muttered, “But I’ve been training.”

“You’re not there yet,” Yu Xiaoxiao said.

“You look down on me!” The First Prince got mad.

“Then how about this,” Yu Xiaoxiao said, “You pick one—me or Xiao Gu. Beat either of us, and you can come.”

“Ooooh—” the Fourth Prince drew out the syllable while staring at his brother.

The First Prince clenched his fists and puffed up his cheeks. The Crown Prince of the empire was angry but helpless against his sister.

Gu Xinglang looked at the boy. “Not this time, Your Highness. Next year.”

The First Prince glared at his brother-in-law. How did this guy win his sister’s heart anyway? He couldn’t even talk his way through this! “Brother-in-law,” the First Prince asked, “Is Li Xiaoyuan turning fifty again next year?” What would he even go to Zhuque for next year—visit his unpopular aunt?

“Uh…” Gu Xinglang was stumped by his brother-in-law’s logic.

Yu Xiaoxiao said, “Then it’ll be his fifty-first birthday.”

The First Prince looked at his sister. Was she seriously treating him like an idiot again? What emperor celebrates his 51st birthday with a big bash?

“Xiongxiong,” Yu Xiaoxiao called to the gang leader, who was eating dumplings head-down.

He looked up. “Don’t worry, Princess. I’ll keep an eye on the house.”

“You’re coming with me,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “Tell the boys to pack.”

“We’re going too?” the gang leader cried. He’d just gotten married to Li Wan—he didn’t want to leave his wife so soon!

“You and your wife haven’t even gone on a honeymoon,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “Bring her along. Call it a honeymoon trip.”

The gang leader turned to Xiao Wei and asked, “What’s a honeymoon?”

Xiao Wei frowned at Yu Xiaoxiao and said, “Princess, we’re on official business. Is it really okay to bring women along?”

“I’m a woman too,” Yu Xiaoxiao said.

Xiao Wei opened his mouth… and had nothing to say.

The gang leader snorted. “Did you forget the princess is a woman?”

Xiao Wei… Okay, fine. He really had forgotten.

The second-in-command asked Yu Xiaoxiao, “Princess, can I bring my wife too?”

“Sure,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. She wasn’t the type to play favorites.

Xiao Zhuang asked, “What about Bear One and Bear Two?”

Yu Xiaoxiao hesitated. She’d only be gone for about half a year—no need to bring the bear rations, right?

But when she didn’t answer, Xiao Zhuang started in: “Princess, if I leave, who’ll take care of them? They can’t sleep at night without seeing me. What if they get sick?”

Everyone rolled their eyes. He was raising those bears like people. Was that even a skill?

“Cut it out,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “They’re bears, not people. Wake up, Xiao Zhuang.”

“Princess…” Xiao Zhuang looked at her, all pitiful eyes.

Yu Xiaoxiao tugged Gu Xinglang’s sleeve.

“Prince Consort…” Xiao Zhuang looked at him, pleading.

As long as it wasn’t war, Gu Xinglang was easy to talk to. Seeing Xiao Zhuang’s puppy-dog face, he nodded. “Fine. Bring them.”

“Yes! Awesome!” Xiao Zhuang had gotten his wish.

The second-in-command ran out, shouting, “I’ll go tell my wife!”

The gang leader asked, “Princess, what exactly is a honeymoon?”

“It means taking your wife out to have fun,” Yu Xiaoxiao said as everyone paused their eating. She picked up the big pot and drank the porridge straight from it.

The gang leader watched her practically dunk her head in the pot and gave Gu Xinglang a very sympathetic look before leaving to find his wife.

Wang Mama turned to Gu Xinglang and said, “Prince Consort, I have to go too.”

Gu Xinglang instinctively wanted to say no. With her around, their trip was going to be hell.

But before he could shake his head, Wang Mama said firmly, “The Princess needs to be taken care of.”

Yu Xiaoxiao popped her head out of the pot. “Mama, I don’t need taking care of.” A soldier who can’t take care of themselves on the road? That’d be the end of them.

Wang Mama replied, “I can’t let anyone bully the Princess in Zhuque.”

PFFT!

Tianxingzi sprayed his tea this time. The old Taoist clutched his stomach laughing. Thank heaven if this little monster doesn’t bully others, and this auntie is worried about her being bullied?

Wang Mama turned and gave the Taoist a towering glare.

He instantly felt like he was being flayed alive and shut up.

Wang Mama, satisfied with her effect, turned back to Gu Xinglang. “Prince Consort, there are many things the Princess doesn’t understand. Even if she’s bullied, she might not realize it. That’s why I have to come.”

Gu Xinglang was starting to waver.

Wang Mama delivered the finishing blow. “When you two arrive in Zhuque, you’re expected to enter the palace and pay respects to Consort Yu. Can you guarantee the Princess won’t do anything wrong?”

That final sentence crushed Prince Consort Gu completely. “Alright,” he sighed. Even he couldn’t guarantee that.