Little Pink Starfish

“Daughter, You’re Too Dumb. Did the Empress Know?”

That autumn afternoon, what exactly Chengguan and Xianzong discussed remained a mystery—no one knew except those two. Even the shadow guards who normally never left Xianzong’s side—not even when he was sleeping with his consorts—were ordered out of the imperial study.

By the time Xiao Wei found Yu Xiaoxiao and Gu Xinglang at the Big Bowl Restaurant and brought them into the palace, Chengguan and Xianzong had already been in secret talks for nearly half an hour.

As soon as Yu Xiaoxiao stepped into the imperial study, she ignored her deadbeat dad and went straight to Chengguan. “Master, why are your eyes bloodshot?”

Chengguan instinctively rubbed his eyes and gave a small smile. “I didn’t sleep well last night, so they’re a bit irritated.”

“No sleep, huh,” Yu Xiaoxiao muttered. “You should stop chanting so much scripture, Master. I think—”

“Enough!” Xianzong snapped, cutting her off. “Last night the entire capital was lit with flames, and you two dared tell me it was some monster? You returned to your manor and slept like nothing happened?”

Yu Xiaoxiao and Gu Xinglang exchanged a glance—they had cuddled and slept well.

“You really slept?” Xianzong’s eyes sparked with fury. He hadn’t closed his eyes all night, fretting himself grey, and these two had the nerve to catch some Z’s?

“We were tired, weren’t we allowed to sleep? What kind of logic is that? Explain it to me, Father,” Yu Xiaoxiao said righteously.

Xianzong wanted to yell, but arguing with this daughter only made him suffer more. As for hitting her—who in Feng Tian could beat her? He slapped his desk hard. His anger needed an outlet!

Yu Xiaoxiao looked at Gu Xinglang. “What’s wrong with him?” Had Mo Wen driven her deadbeat dad mad?

Gu Xinglang had been waiting to greet the emperor, but never got the chance. Now that he could speak, he hesitated. Looking at his father-in-law’s face, any words he said right now would be tantamount to suicide.

Chengguan gave a light cough.

Xianzong stopped slapping the desk and told Yu Xiaoxiao, “I’ve had the royal kitchen prepare you a meal. Go eat.”

“I just ate with Xiao Gu at the Big Bowl Restaurant,” she replied cheerfully.

Big Bowl Restaurant? Xianzong’s heart clenched. Here he was in political hell, and these two were off enjoying restaurant food?

Ignoring her father’s darkened face, Yu Xiaoxiao said happily, “Xiao Gu, let’s go eat imperial cuisine now.”

“Leave your Xiao Gu behind,” Xianzong waved. “You go alone.”

Yu Xiaoxiao immediately grew wary. “What are you planning to do to my Xiao Gu?”

What could Xianzong do to Gu Xinglang? Kill him? Beat him? Not a chance. “We need to discuss something with the prince consort,” Chengguan said gently.

“What kind of thing?” Yu Xiaoxiao asked. “He can hear but I can’t?”

“It’s state business,” Chengguan replied with a smile.

“Master,” she frowned. “Aren’t you the state’s master?”

Gu Xinglang rubbed his forehead—his wife really couldn’t tell the difference between ‘state affairs’ and ‘state master.’

“Yes, state affairs,” Xianzong said, smacking the desk again. Was the empress aware how stupid their daughter was?!

“Matters of the nation,” Gu Xinglang softly explained.

That finally shut Yu Xiaoxiao up. She hadn’t even memorized all the characters of this world yet. State affairs? She wouldn’t understand them anyway.

“He’s a general,” Xianzong barked. “Men should prioritize their duty to the nation. Following you around all day—what does that look like?”

“Hey, hey!” Yu Xiaoxiao was offended. “Why scold him for everything? Just yell at me! And he’s injured!” She pointed to Gu Xinglang’s bandaged ankle. “He was wrongly imprisoned!”

Xianzong nearly flipped his desk. Could she not bring that up every time?! Hadn’t he compensated the Gu family enough?

“Yu Linglong!” he pointed furiously. “Be grateful!”

“Oh,” she nodded. “Then I want a few jade pendants. Father, can you give me a few more?”

Xianzong jumped to his feet. Had she stopped understanding human language?!

“Just a few jade pendants,” she shrugged. “Give me whatever. It’s good to be generous.”

“Can you SHUT UP?!” Xianzong roared.

“You’re the one who called me and Xiao Gu here,” she shot back.

Just as it seemed the two were about to take their argument to another dimension—and possibly start throwing punches—Chengguan whispered, “Prince Consort.”

Gu Xinglang turned and saw the master shaking his head. He reached out and held Yu Xiaoxiao’s hand.

Immediately, Xianzong’s rage turned on Gu Xinglang. “What do you think you’re doing? Holding my daughter’s hand right in front of me?! You want to die?!”

Chengguan had to quickly step in again. “Your Majesty!”

Xianzong gulped a few breaths of air, then waved his hand at his daughter like shooing a fly. “Go eat! We’ve got serious business here.”

“You go first,” Gu Xinglang told Yu Xiaoxiao quietly.

She pouted but nodded.

“Just grab any live human to show you the way,” Xianzong added. “When we’re done, I’ll have Xiao Gu come find you.”

“He’s alive right now,” she replied flatly.

Xianzong nodded solemnly. “Yes, I swear I’ll send him to you alive.”

Only then did Yu Xiaoxiao leave the imperial study. Bowing? What was that? Sorry, foreigner here.

Once she was gone, Xianzong collapsed back into his seat and tried to collect himself. He told Gu Xinglang, “Mo Wen is leaving the capital with Wen Fenglin later today.”

Gu Xinglang was stunned, then elated. “He really means it?”

“You think I’d lie to you?” Xianzong snapped.

“Then what do you need of me, Your Majesty?”

“Well…” Xianzong said, “the master and I thought it over, and we decided you should take a team of imperial elites… and assassinate Mo Wen.”

Gu Xinglang blinked. Had he just hallucinated that?

“Afterward,” Xianzong continued, “we’ll pin his death on Wen Fenglin. That way, Feng Tian is in the clear. Qinghui, you must do this cleanly and beautifully for me.”