Little Pink Starfish

The Tragedy of Miss Zhao San

After about half a stick of incense’s time, Second-in-Command (a.k.a. Xiao Er) had retreated to sulk in a corner of the room. Meanwhile, Yu Xiaoxiao and Gu Xinglang sat side by side, facing the chubby young woman.

Upon seeing Gu Xinglang, the girl’s round cheeks flushed visibly red.

Gu Xinglang looked cold as frost. Anyone who’d just been dragged out of bed while snuggling with his wife would be in a foul mood.

Yu Xiaoxiao had a meat bun in hand and half of it stuffed into her mouth. With her belly empty, she had zero desire to start talking.

The silence was eventually broken by the chubby girl herself. She pointed at Yu Xiaoxiao and exclaimed, “I remember you! You’re a celestial being!”

“Mhm,” Yu Xiaoxiao nodded. What was the point of arguing with someone who clearly lacked a few screws? She could call her a celestial or a demon—Yu Xiaoxiao would go along with it.

The girl turned to Gu Xinglang. “Are you a celestial too?”

Gu Xinglang’s temple throbbed.

“Where am I?” she asked next.

Yu Xiaoxiao didn’t bother with polite nonsense and pointed at Xiao Er in the corner. “That’s your man.”

Xiao Er lowered his head. He had officially given up on life.

The chubby girl blinked. All she could see was the crown of his head.

“Look up,” Yu Xiaoxiao ordered. “Let your wife see your face.”

Xiao Er obeyed like a condemned man.

Yu Xiaoxiao turned back. “What do you think? He’s a functional human, has a job, a roof over his head, and transport—well, a horse. Isn’t this your ideal triple-threat man?”

The girl stared at Xiao Er. “I recognize him.”

“Well, yeah,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “He carried you through half the city on his shoulder.”

“When did I marry him?” she asked.

Xiao Er wanted to know that too. When had he ever said I do?

“Relax,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “You two shared a bed. He can’t run now.”

The girl sat silently for a while, then shook her head. “I don’t understand a word you’re saying.”

Yu Xiaoxiao sighed and whispered to Gu Xinglang, “Good thing I nabbed her a Xiao Er, or this girl would be single forever. Poor thing.”

Gu Xinglang patted her hand. He didn’t think the girl was mentally slow—after all, she knew to cry “indecent!” when attacked. “What’s your surname?” he asked gently.

The girl hesitated. Would a celestial being ask her name? Surely not.

Gu Xinglang said, “We’re not celestial beings. She’s Princess Linglong. I’m her consort. Miss, why were you wandering the streets alone last night? Are you in trouble?”

Her face paled at once.

Yu Xiaoxiao quickly added, “We’re not bad people either.”

Maybe they really weren’t bad people, the girl thought, clutching her blanket tightly. But my father is Zhao Qiuming!

“What’s your surname?” Gu Xinglang tried again.

She glanced at his leg rest. Everyone in the capital knew why the Gu family’s third young master had a limp. “Am I at the Gu estate?”

“Yes,” he said.

I’m doomed. Zhao San Xiaojie (Zhao Third Miss) internally screamed. The one time her father was too injured to mind her, she’d climbed the walls and escaped the Zhao estate. But instead of escaping, she’d run into this mess! She’d wanted to exchange silver notes at Huixin Bank, only to find it ablaze. Asking someone for directions, she’d gotten dragged to Gu Manor?! What kind of tragic fate was this? If they found out who she was, would the Gu family drown her in a well? Chop her up? In just moments, Zhao San Xiaojie had imagined seventeen different horrible deaths.

“I think something snapped in her after you told her your surname,” Yu Xiaoxiao whispered.

Gu Xinglang frowned slightly. “If you won’t say your surname,” he said to her, “then where are you from?”

“I… I don’t know,” she stammered.

“What’s your name?”

“I don’t know.”

Yu Xiaoxiao sighed. “Maybe she doesn’t understand you. Let me try.”

She asked, “What’s your name?”

Still the same: a silent shake of the head. I mustn’t let them know I’m Zhao Yingqin, Zhao San Xiaojie thought. If they realized that, and then remembered the fake her locked in the palace, it’d be over. She didn’t want to take the whole Zhao family down with her.

“Told you she’s a few bricks short,” Yu Xiaoxiao muttered to Gu Xinglang. “Let’s just hand her to Xiao Er.”

Gu Xinglang cast a sharp glare toward Xiao Er.

Xiao Er shuddered in his corner.

Yu Xiaoxiao tugged on her husband’s sleeve. “Let’s go eat breakfast.”

He glanced at her belly. Where had the five meat buns already gone?

“I want to leave,” Zhao San Xiaojie suddenly said.

“Leave?” Yu Xiaoxiao asked. “Do you have family in the capital? Oh, wait, you mentioned your older sister and aunt. You asked me to rescue them. Where are they?”

Aunt? Gu Xinglang’s eyes narrowed. A girl with concubine relatives was unlikely to be from a poor family. And if she was asking for help… her family must be close. “Who are you?” he asked again.

Zhao San Xiaojie retreated to the bed’s corner, shaking her head.

“Search her bundle,” Gu Xinglang said to Xiao Er.

“Yes, sir.” Xiao Er pushed himself up with the wall and headed for the bundle.

Zhao San Xiaojie wanted to scream, but one look at Gu Xinglang’s expression—a blade in human form—and she froze.

“She’s not dumb,” Gu Xinglang told Yu Xiaoxiao. “Just hiding something.”

I wish I were dumb! Zhao San Xiaojie wailed inside. Someone save me!

Xiao Er opened her bundle and immediately shouted, “Consort, she’s carrying five hundred taels in silver notes!”

“Bring it here,” Gu Xinglang ordered.

Xiao Er placed the bundle by his side.

Gu Xinglang picked up five one-hundred tael notes. No family seal. No clues.

Meanwhile, Zhao San Xiaojie was desperately wondering whether she’d accidentally packed anything that could expose her identity…