Little Pink Starfish

Actually, with Yi Qi’s setup… if he hadn’t died, he probably would’ve been the main character.

Yuan Yuanyuan sat on the doorstep, gazing outside while flipping through a monster textbook in her hand.

It was the latest official edition, complete with a specially designed, beautiful cover.

The leaf emblem of “Yuan” had always been lined with gold, but this time it wasn’t just gold—there were also gorgeous silver threads woven in. When she suddenly took it out, it looked just like a book of elven magic.

As she ran her fingers over the cover, Yuan Yuanyuan wondered to herself, How many books has Yi Qi written anyway…? She couldn’t help but feel that instead of being a general, Yi Qi was more like a scholar or a literary figure. The man basically dedicated his life to writing. And since she was impersonating him, shouldn’t she memorize everything he’d written?

Just as she was getting lost in these thoughts, her neighbor Ying walked out looking utterly world-weary, carrying a massive backpack. Yuan Yuanyuan’s eyes lit up when she saw him. “Ying! Don’t leave—I’ve got something for you.”

“What is it?” Ying asked tiredly.

“A limited edition custom figurine.”

Yuan Yuanyuan excitedly pulled a bizarrely shaped chopstick out of her pocket. When the perpetually deadpan Ying took a glance at it, he let out a piercing scream and bolted.

“Why’re you running? I spent all of last night making this…” Yuan Yuanyuan muttered, stunned for a moment, then sighed with a strange mix of sadness and resignation.

She looked down at the Q_q-faced chopstick in her hand, poked the crooked eye with her finger, got batted away by the chopstick’s stubby arm, and silently put it back into her pocket. Then she headed inside to start reviewing the textbooks.

Previously, she’d only skimmed through them because she figured everything was already covered in the upgraded Blood Jade Demon Manual, so there was no point in reading them again. But now, she suddenly realized it might be helpful after all—just in case she got exposed. It’d be pretty embarrassing if she couldn’t even recall what “she” had written in her own books.

That night, while reading, Yuan Yuanyuan suddenly remembered she hadn’t checked in on her shop for days. She wondered if anything had happened. So she set the book aside to take a look, and also to check whether that recent endless stream of outsiders had finally left.

She stepped out and glanced toward the house…

…No signs of anyone leaving! In fact, it looked like there were more of them!

Biting her nails, Yuan Yuanyuan suddenly wondered: Does the city enforcement even handle stuff like this…? I mean, technically she was a law-abiding citizen now.

She stood at the door, thinking for a while… and finally called the police.

It would probably take them a while to arrive, so she obediently waited on the doorstep. When the police finally came, she immediately recognized a few familiar faces. The monster officer leading the team was the same one who’d previously worked with her on refugee resettlement. Excited to see him, she waved, “Oh, it’s you! Come help me clear out those monsters inside the house.”

“Lord Yuan…” the monster officer said hesitantly. “What exactly are you trying to do here…”

Yuan Yuanyuan ignored him. The place was packed with pretty monster girls, all decked out in gold and silver—obviously rich young ladies. The ones without money wouldn’t be able to find her anyway. She wasn’t going to kick them out herself—what if they held a grudge?

So the house was cleared out in about ten minutes. Yuan Yuanyuan watched as the security team planted strange, weirdly-shaped plants all around the yard. She pointed at them and asked, “Uh… what are these for?”

“There may be a lot of monsters trying to disturb you lately,” the officer said a bit awkwardly. “Honestly, if you lived up on the mountain, you wouldn’t be dealing with this. But since you insist on staying here, we had no choice but to implement some protection measures.”

Just as he finished speaking, the plants in the yard suddenly sprang to life. Under Yuan Yuanyuan’s stunned gaze, they began to writhe and twist like something out of a demonic dance.

Ten minutes later, the whole security team had left—except for one monster officer whom Yuan Yuanyuan insisted on keeping behind to sit with her in what now looked like Sleeping Beauty’s thorn-covered palace.

Well, put simply: the surroundings were now thick with towering thorns that blocked out the sun. From the outside, it looked totally cursed—like a haunted house.

It was creepy enough already, and now with all this on top… Yuan Yuanyuan shook her head. She felt like her business might be finished. Maybe it was time to consider going up the mountain to check out the house she was assigned. It might have better sunlight or something…

The monster officer beside her sipped his tea nervously, visibly trembling, probably confused about what Yuan Yuanyuan was even doing. But really, she just wasn’t happy with how her courtyard had turned out—so she dragged him there to mess with him for fun.

After finishing the latest volume of Demon Chronicles, Yuan Yuanyuan finally got a couple of days of peace. As long as no one showed up asking about the past, she was fine. That was the only bad part about being a behind-the-scenes boss. I mean, look at Voldemort—he could at least monologue before dying:

“Yeah, I killed my dad… my soul got split into pieces, and each piece was hidden somewhere…” If someone asked her those questions, she’d probably just sit there frozen and silent.

With all these people showing up to find her lately, the threat level was clearly rising. Her address wasn’t exactly a secret, so it wasn’t hard to come looking for trouble. Sure, maybe it was harder to get in now, but it wasn’t impossible.

The most publicly known boss in history and the first main character who never stabbed themselves in the back.

Can this manga just not anymore?

Yuan Yuanyuan was frantically complaining in her mind while teasing the monster officer in front of her. She kept it up until her phone suddenly rang. She glanced at it—it was Tang Shi, someone she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Boss! What happened to your house? It looks like a haunted mansion from down the road!”

“Ah… it’s nothing for now. Wait, aren’t you supposed to be studying for exams? Why are you calling me?”

“It’s fine…” Tang Shi replied. “Hey, are you at the shop right now? Can I come see you?”

“Sure, just let me know when you’re at the door—I’ll let you in.” Yuan Yuanyuan looked around. She still wasn’t sure how to let people through the barrier. Probably had to test it a few times.

After a while, she heard footsteps. She went to look and saw two blurry figures behind the thorns. Just as she was about to warn them not to touch the vines, she heard Tang Shi shout from outside:

“AH! This thing stabs?!”

Yuan Yuanyuan, half amused and half exasperated, recited a spell the officer had taught her. The surrounding thorns gradually receded. Tang Shi and Qiu Ling stepped in, looking terrified.

Tang Shi asked, “Boss, what is this thing at the entrance?”

“Thorns,” Yuan Yuanyuan replied, not interested in explaining. She brewed tea for them, while the monster officer kept sneaking peeks outside. When Yuan Yuanyuan came back in, he immediately pretended he hadn’t seen anything. She ignored him and went back to reading her manga.

Tang Shi and Qiu Ling had been exhausted lately. This was their first time at Yuan Yuanyuan’s place, so they relaxed—eating, drinking, chatting. They barely reacted when they saw the monster officer inside, though Tang Shi did glance at his uniform and say, “Oh? From the security squad?” and then dropped it.

Yuan Yuanyuan read her manga while listening to their conversation.

“Everyone’s been practicing trick techniques lately—it’s driving me crazy,” Tang Shi said. “But I think that family might be overreacting. It’s probably a hereditary technique. You can’t get results like that without an inherited demon art.”

“Trick techniques? Like the ones in your textbook?” Qiu Ling asked. “So those are real monster techniques… Does that mean what Lord Yuan uses is one too?”

“Yes. Want to take a look?”

Normally, Qiu Ling wasn’t interested, but today she was oddly excited. She took a few photos of Tang Shi’s textbook. She still couldn’t understand it, so Tang Shi began reading it to her.

“Demon Chronicles has been getting weirder too,” Tang Shi said. “That technique the guy’s using—what even is it? It can’t be a real daoist art, right? Daoist arts should be all righteous and pure…”

“Pfft.” Qiu Ling couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“Hey! Don’t laugh!” Tang Shi blushed. “I’m just saying what I feel. And that author—what’s with the name Yi Qi…? Sounds like he picked a generic assassin alias. Kinda pretentious, honestly.”

Qiu Ling shook her head. Tang Shi continued chatting.

Yuan Yuanyuan stayed quiet, reading her manga.

The monster officer was still sipping tea. Cup after cup.

“What trick technique does Lord Yuan use?” Qiu Ling was curious and kept asking. Tang Shi said, “Probably Trick Step, but I’m not sure which kind. Let me look… huh? Where is it?”

She flipped through the book for a while. Suddenly, a ghostly voice came from Yuan Yuanyuan, buried in her manga.

“Chapter one, section three, page 35, second paragraph. Next to that super ugly illustration.”

…

Tang Shi jumped. “Boss! What’s with the spooky voice?!”

“I-it’s nothing…” Yuan Yuanyuan buried her head deeper in her manga.

“Wait, boss—you used this textbook back then too? How many years has this thing been around?” Tang Shi asked. “I always thought it was a recent series.”

“Heh…” Yuan Yuanyuan let out a vague laugh.

“Okay, let me quiz you! Let’s see how much you remember after all these years,” Tang Shi leaned in. “Where’s the chapter on illusions?”

“Chapter three, page three,” Yuan Yuanyuan replied. “Covers five illusion spells. One turns orange peels into orange trees. Another turns mugwort into gold. One teaches how to make willow leaves look like leaf-type monsters…”

“Wow, boss, you actually remember all of it,” Tang Shi said, genuinely amazed. She even gave her a couple of claps. Yuan Yuanyuan let out another mysterious “heh,” poured tea for the monster officer beside her, and told him not to force it if he couldn’t drink anymore.

The officer looked like he was on the verge of water poisoning.

“No idea how registration will go this year,” Tang Shi said. “My dad wants me to study at a local college. Says it’s safer.”

“There are colleges nearby that accept monsters?” Qiu Ling asked.

“Yeah, that normal university—it has a few departments,” Tang Shi said. “But I don’t want to stay here. I want to go somewhere new for a few years.”

Yuan Yuanyuan watched them quietly. Suddenly, Tang Shi asked, “Hey boss, we’re graduating soon… Can we have a class reunion at your place? I feel like we might not see each other again after high school.”

“A reunion?” Yuan Yuanyuan thought about her high school life and said, “Sure. Before graduation, we really should have one.”

“I… actually just want to bring them here,” Tang Shi admitted after a pause, a little embarrassed. “Your place looks like a haunted house now… I want to surprise them—give them a different kind of memory before graduation.”

Yuan Yuanyuan looked around and felt like she’d just been stabbed in the heart.

Damn. That hurt.

“Just act cool when they come,” Tang Shi said. “Imagine—a monster brings her classmates to tour a haunted house. None of them know it’s actually a monster’s home, or that the cool haunted house owner is a real monster… Isn’t that just like a story?”

“…Yeah.” Yuan Yuanyuan spat out some tea, kicked the monster officer out of the room, and figured it wasn’t worth scaring him anymore—he might wet himself at this rate.

She told Tang Shi, “If you want to bring your classmates here, go ahead… Just give me a heads-up first. I promise to give them an unforgettable experience.”