Little Pink Starfish

The Elven Race hadn’t been this lively in a long time.
Because here, for the first time, the cry of a baby was heard—eh, you ask, aren’t there already lots of elven babies, how come no crying?

That’s because!
There really was no crying! The children who crawled out from the fruit dropped by the Elf Mother Tree were all little angels! Nobody cries!

But this one who cried…
He was a half-elf baby boy.
Born from an elf, a child of a human.

In a treehouse close to the ground, a beautiful elf girl was leaning against the bedside. In front of her, that handsome greatsword master looked like the only silly dad in the whole world, holding the baby and bouncing him up and down, back and forth, face full of a bright, silly smile.
“Lannie, you’ve worked so hard! You gave me such a wonderful child!”

The elf girl’s face was pale, her smile barely visible, nearly transparent, but she still gently said, “I’m very happy… Arthur, that’s our child.”
And once the greatsword master turned around and took the baby out to show off, her expression instantly turned ashen.

At that moment, the beautiful elven prince with hair trailing to his ankles walked in with a breeze of fresh forest air. He looked at the beautiful elf girl on the bed and gave her a gentle smile. “You, the elven mother who has birthed new life, you seem quite happy now?”

The elf girl’s expression was rather unpleasant. “All thanks to you, my esteemed Prince.”

Qiguan Rui sighed softly in apparent surprise, “Eh? Are you not happy, then?”

The elf girl gritted her teeth. “Of! Course! I’m happy…”

Damn it all!
What she had dreamed of was pressing Arthur down, not being pressed down by Arthur, okay?! And after being pressed down, she even gave birth to his child, and not only gave birth, but the birthing process was freaking painful beyond belief!

Originally she was truly grateful to the elven prince, because even though she’d changed into a different sex, even though she was the one getting pressed, as long as she could be with Arthur, she was willing.

But! Who could have imagined! Giving birth was such an agonizing process!

So much so that she really felt she had been tricked by this damned elven prince!
And, being in a female body, there was a good chance she’d have to give birth again…

Just thinking about it made her go dark in the eyes.

Qiguan Rui’s gaze darkened slightly. “So, does that mean you want to return to your original form?” He pretended to ponder, “That’s not impossible… only, Arthur might then fall for another girl, start a family with her, have more children… Oh, right!” He suddenly smiled, “I once heard humans say, ‘once there’s a mom, there’s a dad,’ and the mom will cling to the dad, take your man, and torment your child… it sort of makes sense.”

Outside, Gu Bai had just walked to the door, and upon hearing this sentence, his footsteps paused.
Damn it, that damn pervert was indoctrinating people with “once there’s a mom, there’s a dad” kind of talk—what the hell is this for…

The elf girl—no, female-bodied Lanniel’s face turned dark.
She felt like it made sense, what the hell!

Finally, Lanniel struggled to say, “…No need. I’ll remain a female elf.”
Her original plan was shattered.
Yes, she had thought, now that she’d even had his child, maybe she could return to being a man and tell Arthur how much she cared, maybe he’d accept the fact she was male? After all, they once had a brotherhood. But now she felt she didn’t have the courage to gamble. What if Arthur not only wasn’t moved, but couldn’t accept it at all—then what?

Lanniel could only take a deep breath and accept this reality.

Qiguan Rui’s smile deepened. He was about to keep pressing her with a few more jabs… when suddenly, he sensed something and sharply turned his head. “Ge—Your Majesty!”

Gu Bai: “Let’s go.”
Stop corrupting people here! What if she turns into a pervert too?! Don’t you know genderbending is tragic?! One step away from blackening, okay!

Qiguan Rui cheerfully walked over, wrapped an arm around Gu Bai’s neck, snuggling up close. “Okay…”

Then, they were about to leave.

However, Lanniel called out from behind: “Your Majesty, how did you overcome the psychological hurdle? As a woman, you were turned into a man…”

Gu Bai froze.
He said with a blank face, a single word: “Endure.”

Damn your genderbend! I was originally a man! A pure one! A real man!
You think everyone’s like you giving birth and crap?! 摔!
That damn pervert really didn’t do anything wrong!
Go give birth to a dozen of Arthur’s kids, please! Go right ahead!
(╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

·

Arthur was a lucky man. He had talent, luck, and although he was an orphan from a village, he managed to learn great swordsmanship, make friends with elves and other races, go on adventures, explore, and become a greatsword master. Later, he was even fortunate enough to be a guest in the Elven Forest, marry a beautiful elf woman comparable to a goddess, and father an outstanding child. He eventually even gained a noble title from the empire.
He lived a full and happy life.

…Except.

Except for the elven brother who, for some reason, left him.

The elven brother left without saying goodbye. For many years, Arthur never saw him again.
Human life was too short compared to elves. Until he was old and frail, he never saw his brother again.
But he.

At the end of his life, Arthur discovered the biggest secret of his life.
He clearly died in the arms of his beautiful wife, but in the final moment before consciousness faded, why did his wife turn into his brother!

Something clicked in his mind instantly.

But until that final moment, he didn’t know whether it was better that he understood—or that he didn’t…

That feeling, could probably be summed up in one sentence:
In my next life, maybe don’t be a straight man again…

·

Gu Bai and Qiguan Rui saw off Arthur’s whole family, and life returned to normal.

They lived very peacefully—at least for Gu Bai, it was truly peaceful.
Even though there was still that annoying damn pervert clinging to him, since the pervert was now an adult and still couldn’t get it up, for Gu Bai it was no more than being licked by a little puppy—not painful, not exhausting, didn’t even have to get pa‘d into fatigue.

It was a rare moment of rest.

In the blink of an eye, three hundred years passed just like that.
The damn pervert was still a late bloomer, still couldn’t pa pa.

And now, the plot officially began.

The protagonist was smooth sailing all the way, his talent and golden finger making him one of the fastest-rising experts on the continent. Many beauties flocked to him like moths to a flame, becoming part of his growing harem.

For such a harem male, Gu Bai—who had once been a harem-novel author—had zero interest.
No matter how harem he was, could he be more harem than Qiguan Rui, who had once written “three thousand concubines”? No. Definitely not in this story.

And Qiguan Rui was even less interested.
As a majestic sky-swallowing xuan python, how many harems could he not conquer? He only had eyes and heart for one person.

As for the protagonist’s strength…
The world-dominating pervert thought: meh.
Gu Bai, who had crossed several timelines, also thought: meh.
If it’s all meh, what’s the point of watching?

However, as the story progressed, Gu Bai began to notice a deviation from the original novel.

That deviation was: in one particular dungeon, the protagonist was supposed to fall into a large pit, enter the ghost realm, and encounter a terrifying gray lich. The lich held an item the protagonist wanted desperately. And under his protagonist halo, he really did get it—
But unfortunately, after getting it, he was relentlessly hunted by that lich until near the end of the story, when he finally managed to kill it.

But this time?
The protagonist did meet the lich.
He did want the item.
And the lich… gave it to him.

Just handed it over…

He…

WHY THE HELL DID HE GIVE IT TO HIM?!
The protagonist was completely baffled!

And then, the lich told him:
Because you’re my descendant…
My descendant…
Descendant…
Cendant…

Gu Bai: …
I cao cao cao cao!
Damn it, he finally lined it up with the original story!

That terrifying villain-BOSS-like existence in the original novel—turns out was the same Lanniel who failed at love, saw Arthur marry another elf girl, and fell into despair. Heartbroken, Lanniel degenerated into a dark elf, and for some unknown reason, transformed into a lich—losing every last shred of elven dignity.

But this time, though he did get to be with Arthur, once Arthur died, he was utterly broken. He took Arthur’s corpse to the ghost realm, intending to turn him into a death knight or something, so they could be together forever…

The plot had subtly aligned again.
But the difference was still too big.
Now, the protagonist wasn’t the child of a love rival…

And when Gu Bai finally saw the protagonist in person, he understood even more.

The current protagonist had—Arthur’s exact face.
Heh heh.

The child of your love rival having the exact face of your beloved, and the descendant you bore with your beloved also looking exactly like your love—those are not the same, okay? Absolutely not!

The former was like a thorn in the side for a twisted lich elf—it stabbed at the heart just to look at.
The latter was a crystal of love. Totally different treatment!

But now… there was no more BOSS.
The BOSS and the protagonist became one family, and the BOSS even gave birth to the protagonist’s ancestor’s kid…

This time, even Gu Bai felt it—the creaking sound of the story collapsing under the world’s will.

#Never imagined things could fall apart like this#

#I have a very special way of breaking plots#

Thus, the protagonist lacked many hardships, but had strong training under the lich.
Still, without the lich’s endless pursuit, the protagonist missed many dangers, many chance meetings with beauties…

For a harem novel, missing out on girls was an unbearable loss.
A huge plot hole!

Sensing the world will’s unrest, Qiguan Rui pulled Gu Bai into his arms, found a gap in space, and with his massive python form, happily shattered the void and left.

Gu Bai: Goodbye, protagonist. Goodbye, Elven Queen. I really am a damn man!