Little Pink Starfish

How Can a Royal Consort Leave the Palace Alive?

“Why are you looking for Consort Li?” the woman Yu Xiaoxiao had by the throat dared to ask after revealing the consort’s location.

“We were paid to do a job,” Yu Xiaoxiao rasped, keeping up her disguise. “The entire Li family in Chengzhou is marked for death, hmph.”

Xiao Zhuang promptly knocked the woman out and said, “Princess, I always thought only nuns lived in Buddha Halls.”

“How naive,” Yu Xiaoxiao said, pulling a blanket over the two unconscious women. “Li Xiaomei didn’t become a nun, but she still lived in one.”

Watching these two handle shady business so swiftly and smoothly, the bandit leader thought they were totally wasted not being criminals. They could lie without blinking, and move like seasoned thieves. As a bandit chief himself, he suddenly felt very underqualified—he’d done nothing but watch since they entered the room!

“Let’s go,” Yu Xiaoxiao said to the bandit leader. “Time to find your true love.”

He was just about to respond when she grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him up again like a sack.

Consort Li’s Buddha Hall was in the sixth courtyard. Yu Xiaoxiao immediately recognized it—it was the same one she had peeked into before, when she saw a woman chanting sutras and striking a wooden fish. She looked again through the carved window lattice and recognized the shape of the woman’s skull—same as that night.

The bandit leader glanced in but couldn’t tell who the woman kneeling in prayer was. Her hair was tied up in a chignon, her gray monk robes loose and concealing her figure.

“Your true love?” Yu Xiaoxiao asked.

The bandit leader shook his head.

Yu Xiaoxiao peeked in again. Understandable—those robes were shapeless, and the guy couldn’t read bones like she could. Of course he couldn’t tell.

“What do we do?” Xiao Zhuang asked. “Just barge in?”

“Don’t scare her,” the bandit leader warned anxiously.

Yu Xiaoxiao rolled her eyes at him and pushed the door open.

The woman inside didn’t flinch when she heard the door. She continued her chant, knocking the wooden fish steadily.

Yu Xiaoxiao called, “Li Xiaomei? Consort Li?”

The woman’s hands stilled.

“Hey,” Yu Xiaoxiao said, “Li Xiaomei, turn around and let us see you.”

The woman turned.

Xiao Zhuang gasped softly at the sight of her face.

Yu Xiaoxiao also frowned. A deep knife scar ran from her left brow diagonally down to the right side of her nose.

The bandit leader stared in shock, body trembling, completely speechless.

When the woman saw the three of them, she opened her mouth to scream, but her terror caught the sound in her throat.

“Idiot,” Yu Xiaoxiao muttered. “Show your faces.”

Xiao Zhuang lowered his mask, then yanked the sleeve off the bandit leader’s face too.

When the woman clearly saw the bandit leader, she stumbled back, instinctively covering her face with her hands. Then she froze and looked up at him again, urgently crying, “Why are you here?! You have to leave—right now!”

The bandit leader whispered hoarsely, “Wan’er?”

Li Wan looked at him and tried to push him away. “This is the imperial palace! You’ll get yourself killed—go!”

But he stood firm. His hand reached out to touch her face, hesitated, and fell back. “Damn it!”

“Go!” Li Wan cried, tears streaming.

“I came to take you away!” he shouted, trying to embrace her.

“Are you crazy?” Li Wan struggled, refusing his hug. “You have to leave! This is the palace—you’ll die!”

“Wan’er!”

“GO!”

“Uh,” Yu Xiaoxiao, watching from the side, cut in, “Li Xiaomei, we’re short on time. Can we skip the soap opera? Let Xiongxiong kneel and sing ‘Conquer Me’ real quick, then we can get down to business, okay?”

The bandit leader glared. “Can you speak in words I actually understand?!”

Xiao Zhuang stepped up, not pleased. “Mind your tone. Who do you think you’re talking to?”

Yu Xiaoxiao said, “Guys, maybe skip the infighting for now? Let’s deal with the main task first?”

Li Wan looked at Yu Xiaoxiao, confused. “Who… who are you?”

“You don’t recognize me?” Yu Xiaoxiao asked.

“She’s lived in the Buddha Hall since entering the palace,” Xiao Zhuang whispered. “She’s never seen you, Princess.”

“Oh,” Yu Xiaoxiao nodded, then told Li Wan, “Who I am doesn’t matter. I’m not your man’s true love, that’s all that counts. We’re here to get you out. Do you have anything to pack? Hurry up, we’re leaving.”

Li Wan turned to the bandit leader, stunned. “Are you insane?” She was a consort. How could a royal consort leave the palace alive?!

“Let’s talk outside,” the bandit leader said.

Slap!

Li Wan hit him hard. “Do you want my entire family executed?!”

Yu Xiaoxiao stepped up, glanced at the sky, and without a word, slapped Li Wan across the face—knocking her unconscious.

“You—!” the bandit leader cried.

“And you call yourself her true love?” Yu Xiaoxiao said, full of disdain.

“She’s worried about her father and brothers,” he muttered.

“Enough,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “Take her out.”

Xiao Wei placed the corpse he had carried in front of the Buddha statue and asked, “Princess, time to start the fire?”

“I’m going to the Lan Book Pavilion,” Yu Xiaoxiao said to Xiao Zhuang. “After one incense stick’s time, start the fire.”

Xiao Zhuang asked, “And then?”

“Then we all meet at the palace gates,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “I’ll get you out. Oh, and when you start the fire, yell something to get people running.”

“Yell what?” Xiao Zhuang asked, frowning.

Yu Xiaoxiao thought for a moment, then said in a high-pitched whisper, “Murder! Fire! Run for your lives!”

Xiao Zhuang nodded.

“Slip out during the chaos,” Yu Xiaoxiao reminded him.

“I know, Princess. Be careful.”

“Okay, I’m off,” she said, and vanished in a flash.

Xiao Zhuang sat on a prayer cushion and resumed knocking the wooden fish.

The bandit leader, holding Li Wan, asked, “What are you doing?”

Xiao Zhuang glanced at him, unimpressed. “If the chanting stops, someone might come to check. Haven’t you ever been a real criminal?”

“…You sure know a lot,” the bandit leader muttered.

“Sorry, I’m just better than you,” Xiao Zhuang replied.

The bandit leader’s eye twitched. Is that really something to be proud of?!