Little Pink Starfish

Rather Pick the Wrong One Than Miss Out

The old man tried communicating with his young granddaughter-in-law again, only to find that while he could understand each individual word she said, once they were strung together in a sentence, it was like he had lived all these years only to suddenly realize—he couldn’t understand human language anymore! They were completely on different wavelengths; there was just no way to communicate.

“Grandpa, Second Brother was drugged with an anesthetic, uh… you guys call it something like Soft Bone Powder or something,” Yu Xiaoxiao tried to speak up for Second Brother, explaining to the old man, “It was Xiongxiong and his people who used it, so you can’t blame Second Brother for being useless. In fact, he looks thinner to me. He needs to eat more meat.”

Anesthetic? The old man thought to himself. Could “Soft Bone Powder” be the same thing as what she called “anesthetic”? So the royal court here calls Soft Bone Powder an anesthetic? But what on earth is a “jian’ge” (cheap bastard)? “Who exactly is this Xiongxiong?” the old man asked Yu Xiaoxiao.

“The one who kidnapped Second Brother and Little Seventh.”

“And why did he kidnap the Seventh Prince and your Second Brother?”

“Because he gave them Soft Bone Powder!”

“No,” the old man said. “I mean the reason. This Xiongxiong—wait, you’re telling me the villain’s name is Xiongxiong?”

“That’s right,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “That’s what Little Brother Li called him. Xiongxiong’s parents probably didn’t love him very much.”

The old man’s face went a bit blank. “How do you know his parents didn’t love him?”

“Because Xiongxiong is this tall,” Yu Xiaoxiao gestured, “Such a big guy, and they named him Xiongxiong? He’s not a giant baby or anything!”

Giant… baby?

The old man was thoroughly bewildered now—how did the conversation even end up here?

Outside the study, Gu Xinglang and Li Yuanle had been listening. Upon hearing the princess mention “giant baby,” for some reason, Young General Li suddenly wasn’t so nervous anymore.

Gu Xinglang cleared his throat and said, “Grandfather, it’s me, Xinglang. Yuanle and I have come to see you.”

The old man let out a long breath—he had never been this glad to see his grandson before. “Come in,” he said, a little dazed.

Gu Xinglang was carried into the study by two servants, with Li Yuanle following close behind.

“Brother Li,” before Li Yuanle could bow, Yu Xiaoxiao, expressionless but enthusiastic in tone, greeted him warmly.

“Princess,” Li Yuanle returned the bow. Brother Li it is—at least it’s better than being called Xiongxiong.

The old man urgently asked, “What exactly happened?”

Gu Xinglang gestured for the old man to calm down, then turned to Yu Xiaoxiao. “Princess, Xiao Wei has already taken Xiongxiong to the kitchen. Did you tell him how you want the bear paw cooked?”

Upon hearing “bear paw,” that was all the princess could think about. She turned to the old man and said, “Grandpa, I want to go check on the kitchen.”

The old man waved her off. “Go.”

In a blink, Yu Xiaoxiao vanished from the study.

The old man pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to clear his muddled thoughts, and said to Gu Xinglang, “Tell me what happened.”

Gu Xinglang gave a concise and military-style report of what had happened at Mount Ruyun.

The old man’s face darkened as he listened. He then looked to Li Yuanle and asked, “What do you have to say?”

Li Yuanle knelt before the old man. “Grandpa Gu, the lives of over a hundred members of the Li family now rest in your hands.”

“Everyone leave us,” the old man said toward the door.

“Yes, sir,” the servants and attendants outside responded in unison and withdrew from the courtyard.

“Sit and talk,” the old man listened for any movement outside, then motioned for Li Yuanle to get up. “Now tell me—what exactly is going on?”

Meanwhile, Yu Xiaoxiao zipped to the kitchen. Other than the courtyard she shared with Gu Xinglang and the old man’s study, the kitchen was the place she was most familiar with in the whole residence.

Xiao Wei knew the Prince Consort would trick their princess into going to the kitchen. When he saw Yu Xiaoxiao, he asked, “Princess, would you like the bear paw boiled or braised?”

Yu Xiaoxiao wasn’t picky about food. Without even thinking, she replied, “As long as it’s cooked.”

The head chef almost sliced his hand when he heard that.

Xiao Wei laughed awkwardly. “Princess, you really know how to joke.”

Yu Xiaoxiao asked, “What’s the difference between boiling and braising anyway?” Aren’t both just putting water in a pot and heating it? How are they even different?

Xiao Wei nodded seriously.

Yu Xiaoxiao silently lit a candle for herself. Life in the apocalypse had really been too rough—people had no time for this kind of luxury.

Xiao Wei said, “Princess, have you actually eaten bear paw before?”

Yu Xiaoxiao lit another candle for herself. That was the savage empress—not her!

At this moment, the chef reassured her, “Don’t worry, Princess. My braised bear paw is no worse than what you’d get from a royal chef.”

“Great, great!” Yu Xiaoxiao said cheerfully. “You’re even better than the palace chefs!”

Ever since meeting Princess Linglong, the chef at the Gu residence had been convinced he was the best chef in the world. The princess had told him multiple times that compared to him, the palace chefs were just laughable.

“Where’s Xiao Zhuang?” Yu Xiaoxiao asked while squatting at the kitchen door, waiting for her bear paw.

Xiao Wei replied, “He’s making a nest for his little bear cubs. Princess, are you really going to let him raise those two bear cubs?”

Yu Xiaoxiao looked puzzled. “Why not? Uh… is he bad at taking care of animals? Like one of those people who can even kill a turtle by accident?”

Xiao Wei’s expression froze again. He shook his head. “Probably not.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Dark guards lived for their masters—if even their lives didn’t belong to them, what right did they have to raise other living creatures? Xiao Wei gave Yu Xiaoxiao a thoughtful look. The longer he spent with her, the more he forgot his own role.

Yu Xiaoxiao touched her face and asked, “What are you looking at?”

Xiao Wei quickly averted his eyes, suddenly flustered like a shy teen. “Forgive me, Princess. I deserve punishment.”

Yu Xiaoxiao scratched her head. Was it a crime now just to look at her?

Xiao Wei said, “Princess, I…” There was something he wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come out.

Yu Xiaoxiao thought for a moment, then suddenly looked at him and gave a “hehe” laugh.

Xiao Wei could now “hehe” himself, but hearing it from his princess made him nervous. “Princess, what’s wrong?”

Yu Xiaoxiao said, “Xiao Wei, are you thinking about girls?”

What?

Xiao Wei was dumbfounded. What had he done to make his princess think he was thinking about women?

Yu Xiaoxiao patted him on the shoulder and put on a big-sister-knows-all face. “I have Little Gu now, so I’m no use to you. But our strategy for finding women should be: rather pick the wrong one than miss out!”