Little Pink Starfish

Pirates Also Have Dignity

Xiao Zhuang looked around. Yeah… where were the fat rabbits they were promised?

Reliable young man Xiao Wei could only rub his forehead and sigh. Were there really rabbits that didn’t hide from people and ran right up to them?

“Princess, let’s look around,” Xiao Wei said to Yu Xiaoxiao. “The rabbits must be hiding somewhere.”

The mountain was high and densely wooded. Although they knew Gu Xinglang and the others were somewhere in the forest too, the deeper they followed Yu Xiaoxiao into the woods, the more Xiao Zhuang and Xiao Wei felt like it was just the three of them here. Towering trees blocked out the sunlight, and the woods were dark and damp. Xiao Zhuang shivered and whispered to Xiao Wei, “There aren’t gonna be wild beasts, are there?”

Xiao Wei said, “With the princess here, what are you afraid of?”

Thinking about it, Xiao Zhuang relaxed. Even if he and Xiao Wei didn’t know martial arts, just based on their princess’s ability to knock down buildings with a single slap, even if a group of beasts came at them, she wouldn’t be afraid.

Yu Xiaoxiao walked anxiously. She’d been walking for a while and still hadn’t seen a single rabbit. Was this one of those situations where she’d have to use thunder strikes to scare the fat rabbits out?

Just as Her Royal Highness was seriously considering blasting the forest with thunder, a round black ball rolled out from the roadside bushes and landed at her feet — followed by another one.

“What the heck is that?” Yu Xiaoxiao stopped.

Xiao Zhuang and Xiao Wei took a closer look. Oh my god — they were two still-unweaned baby black bears.

Yu Xiaoxiao reached out and grabbed one of the round balls. She had seen teddy bears before. Frowning, Her Highness said, “This is a bear?”

Xiao Zhuang and Xiao Wei nodded in unison. The baby black bears looked round and cuddly, with wet, innocent eyes. The two thought their princess would definitely say they were cute — even they thought the bears were funny and adorable.

Yu Xiaoxiao shook the little bear in her hand with a look of disgust. “After skinning this little thing, how much meat could possibly be left? The two of them together probably aren’t even enough for one serving.”

Xiao Zhuang and Xiao Wei fell silent. Any thoughts they had about the bears being cute or amusing disappeared. They realized they had been far too naive — they’d imagined their princess to be much too kind-hearted.

The little black bear Yu Xiaoxiao was holding wasn’t completely black — it had a tuft of white fur on its chest. Yu Xiaoxiao looked down at the one at her feet, which looked the same. She picked that one up too and made a joke only she could understand: “Your mom went and hooked up with a polar bear, trying to give birth to a panda or something?”

Xiao Zhuang said, “Princess, what’s a polar bear? What’s a panda? Uh, that black…”

Yu Xiaoxiao glanced down at Xiao Zhuang’s lower half and shamelessly said, “That’s what you’ll be doing every night after you get yourself a wife, got it?”

Xiao Zhuang’s face turned beet red in an instant, visible to the naked eye.

Xiao Wei lowered his head and started drawing circles on the ground with his toe. He didn’t want to ask anything, he just wanted to know when they could get out of this forest. At this moment, Xiao Wei missed the prince consort so much. Looking up at the two little bears licking Yu Xiaoxiao’s fingers with their tongues, Xiao Wei thought these two fools were pitiful too — they were about to be skinned and eaten, and yet they were still trying to be cute?

Yu Xiaoxiao tossed both baby bears into Xiao Zhuang’s arms and said, “Take them. Let’s keep looking for rabbits.”

Xiao Zhuang stammered, “Princess, are you… really gonna eat them?”

Yu Xiaoxiao, with a wealth of experience, said, “If we take the cubs, the mother bear will definitely come after them. When that happens, we can catch the big one.”

Mother animals are protective of their young — so if they took the cubs, the mother bear would surely come looking for them. Xiao Zhuang and Xiao Wei instantly understood.

Yu Xiaoxiao swallowed a mouthful of saliva and said, “I heard bear paw is a mountain delicacy. I’ve never had it before, and I really want to try it.”

Oh god, Xiao Wei thought, how many times has the palace served stewed bear paw? Has the princess never eaten it? Or did she eat it, but no one ever told her what it was?

Xiao Zhuang was thinking: for the sake of your life, mama bear, please don’t show up. My princess is too vicious — you’ll definitely be skinned and eaten.

Yu Xiaoxiao walked a few more steps and asked Xiao Wei, “Xiao Wei, where do you think all the rabbits went?”

Xiao Wei’s handsome face twitched. There were freaking black bears here, and she was still thinking about rabbits? Why was she so obsessed with them?! “It’s our first time in these mountains,” Xiao Wei casually replied. “We don’t know the terrain. ‘Clever rabbits have three burrows.’ It’s not surprising we haven’t found them.”

“Clever what?” The illiterate princess didn’t understand the saying.

“If we had someone familiar with these woods, we could definitely find rabbits,” Xiao Wei didn’t try to explain the idiom further — he knew he didn’t have that kind of teaching skill. Instead, he suggested, “Princess, why don’t we go find the prince consort? He hunts a lot and definitely knows how to find rabbits.” This princess should just be handed back to the prince consort — Xiao Wei was really starting to miss Gu Xinglang.

“Someone familiar with the forest,” Yu Xiaoxiao latched onto that phrase and ignored everything else. She remembered the second-in-command and Ergouzi. People who lived in the mountains and farmed had to know the terrain well, right? “Come with me,” Yu Xiaoxiao said, changing direction. “I’ll take you to find some locals.”

Please don’t use qinggong (lightfoot technique), ancestor!

Watching their princess zip off deeper into the forest in a flash, Xiao Zhuang and Xiao Wei screamed in their hearts. There was no way they could catch up!

Meanwhile, Li Yuanle held the map Gu Xinglang had given him, riding at the front of the group. The mountain paths were steep and difficult. Even though the horses were all warhorses, the group still moved slowly.

—

At the mountain hollow, the big boss was once again going head-to-head with Gu Xingyan. His scouts weren’t back, his messengers hadn’t returned — the big boss was getting steamed. And Gu Xingyan had a sharp tongue. The two were at it again, exchanging insults.

“You can’t be Gu Xingyan!” the big boss shouted, having lost the argument.

Gu Xingyan looked at him sidelong, expression full of sarcasm.

“The Gu family is a military family. How could they produce someone like you?” the big boss snapped.

Ergouzi and the others all nodded. A pirate cursing like this couldn’t even out-insult a general who could read? That was unacceptable!

“Idiot,” Gu Xingyan said coldly. “You think I haven’t heard worse in the army? Did your mother forget to give you a brain when she gave birth to you?”

The insult was a little roundabout. The big boss repeated it twice in his head before realizing what it meant — the guy tied to the tree was calling him brainless!

“I’ll kill you!” the big boss roared and drew his blade.

Gu Xingyan still gave him that same sideways look, like: “Go ahead and try.”

The big boss raised his blade. Pirates have dignity too!

“ROAR!”

Just as the big boss was about to slash down, a deep roar echoed through the mountain hollow.

The big boss’s arm froze mid-swing. Was that… a bear?

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Pinky says: It goes straight to 166, there is no 165. Seems to match up though I think.