Little Pink Starfish

Xiao Lan had been pretty happy to see his brother-in-law arrive in the Underworld—until he suddenly remembered: This isn’t some mortal teahouse… how could just anyone show up down here?!

“…Brother-in-law told me to go to the mortal realm to find my sister. I saw the Underworld was about to get sealed, so I passed a message to my friend in the Heavenly Realm. Then all these monsters showed up—they almost ate me! Luckily, brother-in-law saved me and hid me here,” Xiao Lan looked up at the Heavenly Emperor with big pitiful eyes. “My nephew just got born, so don’t kill brother-in-law, okay? My sister and the baby would be really sad.”

The Emperor held the little thing in his arms, obviously pitiful-looking now, but couldn’t be bothered to argue.

“Follow behind me. Don’t run off.” But when the Emperor saw Xiao Lan’s blank look, he hesitated. “Forget it—just turn back into an orchid. I’ll carry you.”

Much safer that way.

Xiao Lan felt underestimated. He was just about to say how much he’d improved recently—he’d learned a lot!

Before he could speak, the Emperor waved his hand. Xiao Lan had already reverted into orchid form and was now tucked close to his chest.

The Underworld, invaded by the demon realm, had fallen into chaos. Demonic energy was everywhere. Xiao Lan nestled in the Emperor’s robes, feeling the steady thump of his heartbeat—it seemed nothing in the outside world could disturb him. As long as he stayed beside the Emperor, he felt safe.

The rebel was the Great Demon King. Brother-in-law, the leader of the wolf clan, had been coerced into joining, supposedly to steal a hundred thousand ghost soldiers. Meanwhile, soul-devouring demon cultivators were growing stronger.

But when the Emperor raised his scepter, the entire smoke-cloaked Underworld was instantly bathed in light.

The demons were repelled, the gates of the Underworld reopened, and the celestial troops swiftly suppressed the rebellion. But the Underworld was in ruins: the King of Hell had perished, the Book of Life and Death was torn to shreds—everything was a mess.

“Xiao Lan performed great service. He will temporarily take charge of the Underworld,” the Heavenly Emperor’s voice carried unquestionable authority.

The immortals were not convinced. How could a little flower demon run the Underworld?! But no one dared contradict the Emperor. He was the kind to beat up whoever disagreed. And since he’d said “temporarily,” they’d tolerate it.

Xiao Lan stood there stunned. Wait, what? I’m the new King of Hell?

But I didn’t even do anything! The Emperor caught the demon king, the heavenly soldiers beat the rebels… and wait—why did he say my brother-in-law was secretly planted in advance? He never said that!

Just like that, Xiao Lan got promoted to top boss. His brother-in-law, for his “undercover contribution,” stayed to help him out.

But Xiao Lan wasn’t very happy about it. He leaned on his hand and looked up pitifully at the Emperor. “Then how am I supposed to feel good now!?”

The Emperor looked at those hopeful eyes and couldn’t help but smile, gently stroking the little flower’s cheek. “You want it that much?”

“I’ve saved up so much dew—it’s enough for a bunch of times!” Xiao Lan offered up his bottle like a treasure, eyes sparkling. “So can I not be King of Hell? That job looks really busy, and I won’t have time to make dew…”

No dew meant no comfort.

That thought hurt.

“No.” The Emperor smiled slightly but spoke sternly. Seeing the little orchid freeze up in fear, he patted his head. “I have enough dew already.”

Xiao Lan’s face went pale. He has enough?!

“Then how am I supposed to feel good anymore?!” he muttered, chin propped on his hand. “Does that mean he’s going to go to someone else?” Just thinking about that ugly thing who once tricked him into “feeling good” made him nauseous.

The Emperor heard every word and paused. Wait. Don’t tell me… is that really why he’s been collecting dew this whole time?

“You only collect dew for comfort?”

“Yeah!” Xiao Lan looked at him innocently. Didn’t he already know that? “I work hard, so of course I should get some reward. When I help Sister Lanzhi, she gives me nice things too!”

The Emperor’s face darkened instantly. So in his eyes, I’m just… a reward system?!

“Why is your face all black? Are you feeling unwell?” Xiao Lan held out the dew bottle. “Want a sip?”

The Emperor stared at him, then suddenly chuckled. Xiao Lan flinched—He’s scary when he laughs like that.

“Dew?” The Emperor wrapped his arm around the orchid’s waist and leaned in to whisper coldly in his ear, “There’s a much faster way to get it.”

“Really?” Xiao Lan’s eyes lit up. That sounds great! The Emperor really is amazing.

Looking into those pure and admiring eyes, the Emperor’s heart stirred with wicked desire.

“Come. Take your clothes off and you’ll know.”

Xiao Lan didn’t know there was this kind of method, but he nodded, trusting the Emperor completely. He followed him onto the bed.

There were no sobs, just soft moans and sticky murmurs—“So hard… hurts… it tickles…”

“Didn’t you want dew to give me? Don’t move.”

The Emperor’s voice carried authority, but his actions were utterly shameless.

When Xiao Lan finally crawled off the bed, his face was still red from last night’s intensity. How could someone so noble act like that?!

Outside the room, he overheard the Emperor speaking:

“…you should be punished, but I’ll spare you for Xiao Lan’s sake.”

“I understand. Thank you, Your Majesty.”

It was his brother-in-law’s voice.

“But why let Xiao Lan run the Underworld? He doesn’t know anything.”

The Emperor didn’t answer right away. He looked toward the room, then said coldly, “I don’t know how long I’ll like him. If I stop one day, at least he’ll be able to stand on his own.”

Inside the room, Xiao Lan’s face flushed red. So the Emperor really does like me!!!

He realized now those words were said on purpose. The Emperor had never liked anyone, never cared—but this was his way of preparing for the future.

But to Xiao Lan, all he heard was:

“The Emperor likes me!”

The Emperor was too tired to explain. He just waved his hand and sent Xiao Lan back to the Underworld.

Xiao Lan kicked his legs happily and told his sister, “Sis! I know what it feels like to like someone now!”

“You like the Heavenly Emperor,” Da Lan said calmly, holding her baby.

“You knew?!” Xiao Lan propped his chin and listed all the Emperor’s good points. “He’s so great.”

Da Lan had a few worries in her brow, but she remembered her own past. So she didn’t try to stop him—some things have to be experienced to be understood.

That experience lasted a hundred years. For humans, that’s a long time. For immortals, it’s the blink of an eye.

Xiao Lan, the “temporary” King of Hell, had somehow been “temporarily” permanent. With capable assistant Bai Whatever, he ran the Underworld like a pro. He only had to head to Heaven occasionally for some “comfort” with the Emperor—or go out to eat, drink, and have fun.

One day, in Heaven—

Xiao Lan sat swinging his legs while eating grapes. The juice dripped down his fingers, so he licked it off. Looking up, he found the Emperor staring at him intensely.

He paused, then grinned, “Do you want some?”

“You’ve been busy lately. I haven’t seen you in two whole hours,” the Emperor grumbled.

Xiao Lan grabbed the grape bunch, hopped down, and plopped himself into the Emperor’s lap. He popped a grape into his mouth. “Is it sweet?”

“Mhm.” The Emperor’s gaze lingered on his white fingertips. He leaned down and bit them gently.

Xiao Lan giggled in his arms. “Ow. There’s been a ‘Best Employee’ campaign in the Underworld. I’ve been a bit busy.”

The Emperor stared down at this slippery little thing in his lap. He lies now?

“Fine, I was wrong,” Xiao Lan admitted. “Actually, I heard there’s a really fun play in Europe. You were too busy and said it was childish, so I went myself. But the campaign is real—I didn’t lie about that!”

The Emperor’s hand was resting on Xiao Lan’s not-so-still butt. This orchid wasn’t a flower anymore—he was a slippery eel. Always scheming, and though the Emperor could see through it all, he still got wrapped around his finger. Makes me want to spank him.

“Then why don’t you just come up here for good? Stop being King of Hell.”

Xiao Lan shook his head furiously. “No no! If I leave, who’s going to watch my little bros down there? I bragged already. And I still have to take care of Bai Something!”

The Emperor really felt like he’d shot himself in the foot. He gave Xiao Lan a light slap. Fine. Let him do whatever. I can always go down to find him.

“Didn’t you want to see a play? Let’s go. I’m free today.”

Xiao Lan was overjoyed, kissed him twice, and whispered, “We can try something fun in the theater later too~”

The Emperor thought—Going to the theater is indeed a good idea. This little thing has me wrapped around his finger. Deadly, really.

From the once innocent little orchid to the now spoiled, lazy little King of Hell—this mess was entirely the Emperor’s doing.

But he didn’t regret a single bit.

Because this little thing was just too delicious.