Little Pink Starfish

Under the encouraging gaze of the leadership and the stern look of the general, the first to step forward was an ice-type ability user from the troops. He took a deep breath, and holding fast to the mindset of serving the people and “if I don’t go to hell, who will,” he resolutely stepped forward.
He snapped to attention with a “shua,” giving a military salute, his face full of sorrow: “For the glory of Huaxia, for the safety of the people—”
Sacrifice.

The last two words were still stuck in his throat, not yet spoken, when the parrot on the left below suddenly let out a sharp squawk: “So ugly! So ugly!”
The parrot on the right raised a wing to cover its face, its voice even sharper: “Titanium-alloy bird eyes are blind! Blind!”

The golden-maned lion bared its white, white teeth again: “That face looks like Zhu Bajie’s second aunt, even if you gave him to our king, our king would still say the skin is rough and meat is thick. You think our big brother has the same aesthetic taste as you?”

The soldier with the tragic expression: “……”
Bro is eighteen, 1.8 meters tall, athletic build, proper facial features, strong and balanced—where is he not handsome!?
Don’t think just because Bro is a soldier that he won’t throw hands. Discipline only says don’t harm the people—mutant beasts aren’t covered under ‘people’! Believe it or not, I’ll pluck your lion mane in seconds! You think you’re a national protected animal!?

↑
Actually, that wasn’t the point.
The point was—damn, since when were wild beasts so cultured!?
They even knew who Zhu Bajie was!

The leadership took a deep breath and felt a bit of a heart attack coming.
The general, whose face was already stern, looked even more tightly sealed—like a needle couldn’t get through.

The soldier stepped back.
He had stepped up with a spirit of sacrificing for the nation (fog), and as a straight man, his psychological pressure was enormous. To be rejected like that, instead of feeling relief, he just felt annoyed. Seriously, he’s still young and green, okay!

With that soldier paving the way, the other male ice-type ability users felt a spring-like warmth. What a truly public-spirited comrade! They instantly understood what to do, okay!?

And so, the ice-type·ability·men that stepped forward next began an epic… self-deprecation campaign.
Yes, self-deprecation. Full-scale, multi-angle self-blackening!

Some stripped the outerwear of their comrades and stuffed it into their own shirts to make themselves look fat.
Some grabbed a handful of black mud from the ground and smeared it on their faces.
Some went from handsome to cross-eyed and crooked-nosed in a second.
Some suddenly turned wall-eyed! So creative.

Then, those ice-type ability users lined up in a row.
Awaiting selection… no, awaiting inspection.

The two low-IQ parrots flapped back in sync, letting out a scream: “Ugly people! Ugly! No cure! Cure! Ugly freaks! Freaks!”

The lion king flicked its tail with disdain: “Really now? Even though this king has the ability to see through appearances, I still have to say—” It opened its mouth wide and made a biting gesture, its smile especially “brilliant.”
“All present? No one missing?”

The leadership held their breath: “That’s right, no one missing.”
The golden-maned lion showed a ferocious expression: “Good, then clean up your act, or I’ll lead my army and flatten your human base!”

Instantly turned hostile.

The earlier lighthearted atmosphere of banter and communication vanished. Those in the capital base who had started to relax were once again trembling.
Yes, this wasn’t a joke. It was the final warning—

The male ice-type ability users gave a bitter smile and had no choice but to clean themselves up immediately.
What they revealed were all solemn expressions as they walked past the top of the wall one by one.

After seeing them all, the lion king gave two grumbles to its followers behind. Then, it turned back, looking a bit disappointed, and sighed—a very elegant sigh.
From the sky came a bird cry: “Dumb lion, let’s go!”

The lion king let out a long beastly roar.
In the next moment, just like when they came, the “black water” and “dark clouds” slowly receded.

From the retreating beast horde came one final line in perfect Mandarin:
“Don’t tell the other bases about this, or if word gets out—we’re not the type to play nice!”

That’s right, they really weren’t the type to play nice.

That threat made everyone’s face change drastically. These guys were way too arrogant.
But what could they do? With an army at the gates, they had no options!

Only when the shadows of the beast horde completely vanished did everyone in the capital base finally exhale.
Please never come again, these animals!

Then came an overwhelming sense of crisis.
—If mutant beasts had already evolved to this point, was there any room left for humanity to survive?
Also, just why were they looking for ice-type ability users…?

And by this time, the capital base had received no word about the beast horde at all. Damn, if they came and flattened a base every time they didn’t get what they wanted, who would dare take the risk?
Otherwise, one wrong move, and they’d become the sinner who destroyed an entire base… And they sure didn’t believe these creatures were the type to listen to reason—

Of course, what they didn’t know was that the real focus was—

The S City survivor base.

---

The main reason being: the protagonist shou Meng Qiao’s old gong’s emotional intelligence had finally fully gone online!

When it became clear that Gu Bai posed no threat, the black-hearted lotus (Su Qingyan) did, and Yin Jiu solemnly returned to his group to personally take charge of the “capturing Meng Qiao” operation.
Why?

Because of one age-old, unsolved, deadly serious problem.

That was—
When childhood sweetheart meets the one who fell from the sky, does the sweetheart win, or does the sky-faller win?
The childhood friend had years of deep bonds, the sky-faller had freshness and mystery—when it came to love, who would win was always unpredictable.

As the one who fell from the sky, Yin Jiu’s heart was racing!
He was both anxious and excited!

So, Yin Jiu reined in his domineering nature. Day after day of interaction subtly turned it into calm dependability. His tone grew measured and steady.
Meanwhile, as the black-hearted lotus kept grinding for screen time, Meng Qiao indeed stopped silently calling Yin Jiu a pervert in his heart… and began to believe this guy was genuinely smitten and just low-EQ.

Yes, when Yin Jiu’s EQ went online, he directly let Meng Qiao realize his EQ was low!
That kind of straightforwardness! That kind of bluntness! That kind of dumb-but-reliable charm!

So, Meng Qiao began dropping by Gu Bai’s place to chat.

Like saying, “Aiyo, that guy today did BLABLABLA again, he’s such a clumsy dork, it’s kind of hilarious, hahaha!”
Or: “You wouldn’t believe what that guy did today, BLABLABLA—so dumb but kind of funny, I almost couldn’t make fun of him!”
Or: “He’s a mercenary group leader too, but BLABLABLA… sigh, poor guy.”

Gu Bai: —deadpan face.
Do I look like a tree hole? In the original plot, wasn’t the protagonist shou supposed to talk to the black-hearted lotus while slowly falling in love, making the lotus more and more jealous and more and more venomous? How did it become talking to me instead?
I’m a real man! A real straight man! Listening to a fake straight man talking about his process of slowly bending and catching feelings—do you know how much pressure I’m under!?
I’ve given up on girls already! But I’m still a straight man!

This world of guys getting with guys.
Truly incomprehensible.
↑
This is not okay.

On this sunny morning, Meng Qiao came by again. This time he brought the fifty-eighth stupid thing Yin Jiu had done to woo him, the thirty-ninth “I’m speechless at this guy” moment, with a tone that was slightly tsundere, slightly hopeful, and slightly smug.
Looked like Yin Jiu’s… uh, courtship campaign was nearing success.

That black-hearted lotus must be getting real anxious by now?
Might be worth keeping an eye on him.

Gu Bai listened with a blank face—one ear in, one ear out.
Haha, the protagonist shou’s babble skill had leveled up again. Impressive.

Just then, a loud broadcast rang out from the sky.

“Big news! Big news!”
“All ability users report to the city wall!”
“Ability users, move quickly!”
“Base in danger! All personnel prepare!”

Gu Bai was stunned.
Wait, S City base shouldn’t have ever had anything serious enough to call for full mobilization, right? Even during a zombie wave, it was never this grim—what was going on?
But considering the butterfly effect, he grabbed Meng Qiao by the arm, and the two of them jumped on an ice dragon and raced toward the gate.

When they arrived, Gu Bai felt a deathly silence.
And then he noticed that the leaders, generals, and countless ability users were looking at him… no, not just him—they were looking at all the other… ice-type ability users? What was wrong with the ice-types?

Then, as his ice dragon rose to the top of the wall, Gu Bai saw the scene outside the base—
A vast sea of beasts… Holy crap, had every animal in the country migrated here!? This wasn’t right! In the original plot, the animals were still evolving. It was supposed to be at least half a year before they formed a horde.
He’d only just been thinking about stirring up rumors to gain some profit—how the hell did the plot suddenly fast-forward so much!? What went wrong!?

The three major ability users had arrived.
Gu Bai noticed that Yin Jiu and the fire user also looked weird.

And then, he heard a screechy voice shout:

“Beau~ty” “Ice-type beauty look over here look here~”

The people on the wall all had strange expressions.
Gu Bai gave the source of the voice a deadpan look.

There, two dumb parrots were doing the cha-cha in an embrace: “Finally! A beauty! A beauty!”
The lion carrying the parrots panted: “With my beastly instincts, I’d rate him a solid nine out of ten.”

Gu Bai: “……”
Beastly instincts your ass!