Little Pink Starfish

Yuan Yuanyuan really didn’t like going to the front of the tavern. Not hard to understand—up front were all sorts of weird demons, and as a half-demon herself, she always ended up getting messed with whenever she showed her face there.

But there wasn’t much she could do about it… It’s not that she was some pushover, but the reality was that she needed the job. If she pissed off the wrong person, she’d be starving on the street next month.

Literally starving.

Fortunately, she had Li Zi Jie looking out for her, so she hadn’t been dragged off and bullied one-on-one yet. Still, she mentally prepared herself—if things got dicey, she’d run to Li Zi Jie and hug her thigh for protection.

That said… she had no idea where Li Zi Jie even was right now. She didn’t know what she did at this hour. Her own routine was just the same every day: washing glasses and warming up wine in the back.

Unexpectedly, before she could even speak upon arriving out front, someone suddenly yanked her aside.

“Hurry, fix her nails…” The demon who had called her over barked out orders to a few little kids standing nearby.

Still completely confused, Yuan Yuanyuan was pulled into a corner. She looked up at the hanging drapes, then glanced back at the kids. They all looked like they’d only just taken human form—maybe seven or eight years old, a few even still had fluffy animal ears on their heads.

“Fix her hair too, then get her out to the front.” The demon gave a few more rushed orders and hurried off, leaving Yuan Yuanyuan dumbfounded as a group of little demon kids started doing her hair.

“Uh… Can someone tell me what’s going on?” Yuan Yuanyuan leaned in cautiously to ask one of the girls.

The girl had big round eyes and a pair of giant beast ears on top of her head. She was doing Yuan Yuanyuan’s nails—sticking on absurdly long fakes that could double as ear picks—while saying, “Some of the big sisters left suddenly. There’s not enough staff to entertain the guests today.”

“Left? Who left?” Yuan Yuanyuan’s mind spun.

“Izi, Hongxiu, and a bunch of others… more than ten in total.” The little girl looked at Yuan Yuanyuan’s shoulder-length hair, then turned and pulled a long wig from a box to attach to it. Yuan Yuanyuan looked at that wig and was suspicious it might’ve been cut from someone’s actual head—because it felt too real.

And so, still thoroughly confused, she was dressed up in a ridiculously long red robe—long enough to drag on the floor—and pushed to the front by a bunch of little demon children. Her hair had been extended, her face painted pale, lips bright red, and she hadn’t even seen what she looked like before she was shoved forward. Right then she spotted Li Zi Jie standing at the veranda.

Yuan Yuanyuan waved frantically at her, hoping to ask what the hell was going on. But Li Zi Jie waved her down, motioned her to stay quiet, then quickly pulled her aside and led her onward.

“When you introduce yourself, say your name is ‘Hongxiu,’” Li Zi Jie whispered.

“WTF, why?” Yuan Yuanyuan looked at her with horror.

“The original Hongxiu left, but one of the VIP guests requested a few of our prettiest girls specifically.” Li Zi Jie whispered into her ear. “We’re shorthanded. Every girl who can still breathe has been dragged up here. Also—don’t call me ‘Li Zi Jie’ today. Call me ‘Li Jiao.’”

“What kind of cringey B-list names are these!” Yuan Yuanyuan grimaced.

Li Jiao was bad enough. But Hongxiu… yeah, she remembered that one. Everyone gossiped about how beautiful she was, even if Yuan Yuanyuan had never seen her in person.

Why did she remember so clearly? Because apparently Hongxiu was really good at pouring wine and adding incense—so most of the wine Yuan Yuanyuan heated ended up in her hands…

“Alright, enough scowling. You’ll smear the makeup.” Li Zi Jie glanced at her critically. “Just stay near the incense burner. Don’t talk. The original Hongxiu didn’t talk much either, that’s why I picked you. If you impersonate someone else, you’ll blow your cover.”

“…Deal.”

“They’re here! Hongxiu and Li Jiao!” Li Zi Jie suddenly turned around, dragging Yuan Yuanyuan forward.

They passed through veil after veil, climbing higher and higher. From the outside, the tavern looked like a single floor, but in truth, it had five levels. The higher they went, the more ethereal it felt. The whole building was designed like a classical Chinese structure, no hint of modernity. It felt like stepping into another time.

It was eerily quiet. Yuan Yuanyuan had always wondered why this place was so silent. Wasn’t this supposed to be a bar?

“Why’d the other girls leave anyway? They’d been here for years,” Yuan Yuanyuan asked in a whisper.

“Didn’t that big incident happen recently? The place got smashed up. Of course they’d leave,” Li Zi Jie replied quietly.

“…So only those of us with nowhere to run stayed, huh?” Yuan Yuanyuan muttered.

“When we get in, just sit by the incense burner and smile. Don’t say a word. Not one. That’s what Hongxiu used to do, which is why I’m using you.”

She then pulled out an ancient-looking perfume bottle and sprayed Yuan Yuanyuan all over.

Yuan Yuanyuan choked, practically suffocating, but before she could ask anything more, she was shoved through a door. Li Zi Jie slipped in behind her and closed it.

…

Yuan Yuanyuan stood frozen for a second, unable to even think of what to say.

She looked at the room and thought one thing:

What the hell, this is way too much.

Were they seriously playing “floating wine cups” indoors? Where the hell did this water come from?

And why was the ceiling showing blue skies and white clouds? Wasn’t it night outside?

Even the sky looked fake.

Still stunned at the doorway, Li Zi Jie nudged her forward, pointing at a giant lotus-shaped incense burner. It was hollowed out, with smoke curling from within.

Yuan Yuanyuan walked over and perched on the edge of the nearby chair. She didn’t dare sit fully, just posed like those ancient drama characters. She sat stiffly, staring at the incense burner with no idea what she was supposed to do.

She was in a water pavilion, all alone with the incense burner. From the other side came the sounds of laughter… and splashing water.

She grabbed random handfuls of incense and threw them in whenever she felt like it. Better safe than sorry.

Bright red koi swam past below her, sending ripples out in perfect circles.

…

“Yuanyuan-jie, why are you buying us breakfast?” Xiao Ying asked, munching on a bun.

“Mm… because I just got a sudden windfall,” Yuan Yuanyuan replied. “Now finish up and get to school. Don’t be late.”

“Yuanyuan-jie, what job are you working? You’re always coming home so late. And last night you didn’t even sleep…”

“Don’t worry, your Yuanyuan-jie didn’t go out to do anything shady.” Yuan Yuanyuan stared blankly. “I just got all dressed up, sat somewhere fancy… and stared at goldfish.”

“…What?” Xiao Ying couldn’t even imagine that scene. Yuan Yuanyuan said no more, just waved her off and went inside.

She collapsed onto her bed and fell into a dead sleep.

When she woke again, it was already 1pm.

Tch… Cultivators supposedly don’t need sleep. Why was it that becoming a demon hadn’t changed her at all? Maybe she just hadn’t leveled up enough?

She got up, ate something, then opened her browser to check the popularity rankings for Dream Comic.

Votes were updated in real time, every 30 minutes. Yuan Yuanyuan searched “Black-Clothed Man” and was stunned to see he’d already made it past the preliminaries.

Huh? When did that happen?

She glanced at her “opponent,” a supporting character from a high school romance series. The character’s avatar was now greyed out.

She looked at the vote count. Hers was way higher. Guess it wasn’t that she was good—just that her opponent sucked.

With prelims over, the elimination rounds were coming. Yuan Yuanyuan sighed, guessing the officials would use it to squeeze more money out of fans.

She scrolled further and suddenly had a horrifying thought. She checked the list of characters who’d been eliminated in the prelims… and as expected, there were a few from Demon Dream.

She looked over the names… and a shiver ran down her spine.

Wait a sec. Would that psycho Ji Qiu actually kill them off for real?

Goosebumps crawled over her skin. She quickly memorized those names.

She started pacing. This is bad. Really bad. Ji Qiu doesn’t seem like the forgiving type.

She looked at the cash she’d just made last night and had the sudden urge to buy a stack of magazines to boost her own sales. But after a pause, she managed to hold herself back.

She’d wait until the results came out this weekend… and see what happened to the characters who got eliminated.

She made up her mind, but still couldn’t sit still, and started checking the comment section.

She scrolled down to the newest Demon Dream update… and suddenly let out a “Huh?” The top comment had changed. A mysterious user had posted a “dogtail sequel” fanfic, and the post had over a hundred replies and was still growing.

Yuan Yuanyuan opened it—and the first sentence nearly blinded her.

【Dogtail Sequel #1 — “Wrong Place, Right Pecker: Big Bird Meets Cute Girl”
“His hand gently stroked his hair, then tugged the red pendant from around his neck with a sharp yank.
Those lips curved into a stunning smile. He had never seen such beautiful lips—so beautiful he wanted to…”】

……

Yuan Yuanyuan looked out at the bright blue sky.

……

She had no words.

Very… stimulating.

Also… uh…

Is kindergarten out yet today?

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Pinky says: I’ll catch up to the previously published forty-something tomorrow.