Little Pink Starfish

And so, Gu Xing and Ziche Shubai reached an agreement.

Shangguan Jue’s expression became even stiffer, and he immediately burst out, “Big brother, you can’t push me into a pit of fire! If I marry Gu Xing, he’ll definitely beat me up three times a day!”

—During those five years in the valley, although the fool was still a fool, he at least developed some skill in reading people. Because of this, not only had the protagonist’s intelligence been dragged down, but the fool had also started to develop a strange connection with him.
It was hard to say whether to light a candle for the protagonist or for the fool.
Perhaps this could be considered a kind of life experience…

Gu Xing froze for three seconds.
Then, he calmly remained silent.
Since Ziche Shubai had given him the choice rather than Shangguan Jue, it proved that the key to this decision lay with him, Gu Xing. So what if Shangguan Jue had guessed his true intentions? Whether or not Ziche Shubai believed it was another matter. Even if he did and later regretted it, Gu Xing wouldn’t necessarily lose out—he would likely receive some other compensation.
He just had to be a bit more careful when beating up Shangguan Jue in the future.

In truth, Ziche Shubai had no intention of going back on his word. He merely lit a metaphorical candle in his heart for his foolish younger brother.
Since his idiot brother understood his dear nephew so well, maybe this was destiny? As an older brother, he wouldn’t play the villain and break them apart. Entrusting his foolish little brother to his dear nephew put his mind at ease.
As for the beatings…
Domestic violence wasn’t a problem—he himself did it all the time. If his idiot brother could gain a few IQ points through it, that would be a worthy sacrifice. _{[T/N: That is false.]}

Ziche Shubai: “We will select an auspicious date.”
Gu Xing: “Thank you, brother-in-law.”
Ziche Shubai gave him a look. “Hmm.”
A strange sense of familiarity rose in Gu Xing’s heart.

Meanwhile, the background noise never stopped:
“Big brother, I don’t want to marry him!”
“Big brother, trust me, he’s not a good person!”
“Big brother, what about my opinion?! At least listen to my opinion!”

#No one respects a fool’s opinion#
#The unconventional consequences of digging your own grave#
#You got lucky, so just accept it#
So sad.

As an older brother to a brain-dead side character, Ziche Shubai had done his best.
He firmly believed that, although he didn’t quite understand why, since his dear nephew was willing to hook up with his foolish younger brother, then maybe his foolish brother could bask in his protagonist halo.
So, let the fool continue living his foolish life!
Clenches fist!

At this moment, Kongshan Dawang, who had been silently observing the entire situation, suddenly spoke. His voice was incomparably gentle, carrying a deeply concealed sense of urgency.
“Brother, since they are so devoted to each other, why not arrange for them to marry as soon as possible? That way, you can have peace of mind.”

Even while suffering from amnesia, the crazy pervert could still accurately guess Ziche Shubai’s thoughts.
Ziche Shubai ignored the background noise. “Very well.”
Deeply in love, huh… Hmm, maybe they are a perfect match.
No time to waste! The sooner he sent his idiot brother off, the sooner he’d be free!

Thus, in this harmonious (read: tragic) and joyful (read: tearful) atmosphere, their spaceship successfully returned to Tiandu Star and landed smoothly.
As everyone stepped out, Kong Shan Da Wang casually waved his hand—and the entire planet was locked down again.

Ziche Shubai: “…”
Forget it.

---

As an ever-dedicated and self-improving top-tier maid, Qing Tong spent her days either training or eagerly awaiting the return of her star lord. In the meantime, she managed the personal guards efficiently and maintained a firm grip over all the industries on the planet.

On this particular day, as usual, she stood at the edge of the planet, waiting longingly.
And today, at last, her wait bore fruit!

Even if the star lord returned with that pig-faced brute, she would accept it!
Even if the star lord brought back that foolish second young master, she would accept it!
Even if the star lord returned with explosive news, she! Would! Accept! It!

Yes, the moment Ziche Shubai stepped onto the planet, he dropped a bomb:
“Qing Tong, prepare a wedding.”

Struck by lightning! Hair standing on end! Star lord, are you really getting taken advantage of?!
Qing Tong’s face was filled with despair, her entire being trembling…
S-Star lord…

Before she could collapse, Ziche Shubai finished his sentence:
“My younger brother is marrying Gu Xing.”

Qing Tong instantly revived!

If they could finally get rid of that foolish second young master, she wouldn’t even mind throwing in a dowry!
How wonderful it was that the star lord would never have to worry about him again!
For the sake of Tiandu Star’s reputation, she would make sure this wedding was spectacular!
She absolutely would not let down the star lord’s trust!

The words “Absolutely!” “Definitely!” “For sure!” “No problem!” flashed across her mind like a mantra.
Qing Tong was bursting with motivation!
Time to mobilize the entire planet!

A woman’s determination, when driven by a pressing goal, was always terrifyingly efficient.
In just three days, the star lord’s residence was fully decorated, and the personal guards had compiled a long list of dowry items for the foolish second young master.

As the soon-to-be live-in groom (not really), Gu Xing sat deep in thought on the rooftop each day, contemplating the ultimate techniques for domestic discipline, aiming to compile them into a guide.
As a man about to be married, his determination completely dispelled any trace of pre-wedding nerves.

Meanwhile, the other groom seemed to be experiencing severe wedding anxiety.
Shangguan Jue squatted on the ground, pulling at his hair:
“What do I do, what do I do, what do I do…”
“I don’t want to get married, I don’t want to get married, I don’t want to get married… Important things must be said three times!”
“Why does this young master have to marry that bastard?!”

As his foolish brother wallowed in misery, Ziche Shubai silently kept him company outside the room.
With the wedding just two days away, could his idiot brother still fit into the ceremonial robes after eating so much stress food?
It was a serious concern.
He worried, but he wasn’t going to say it!

As Ziche Shubai brooded, a slender finger reached over, pressing gently between his brows and rubbing soothingly.
“Brother, what are you hesitating about?”

Ziche Shubai: “If he truly does not wish to—”
Kongshan Dawang immediately interrupted: “Brother, what are you saying? The little one…” He silently clenched his teeth. “…Of course, he’s willing. Otherwise, with his brain, how could he have understood someone so clearly in just five years? It must be because he constantly thought about him, always kept him in mind—hence, this deep connection.”

Ziche Shubai remained expressionless: Sounds kind of reasonable.
Kongshan Dawang continued, “Just like how I understand everything about you, Gege. No matter what you think, I always know—”

Ziche Shubai: Heh. No, you don’t.
Kongshan Dawang smiled gently. “Gege must be angry again…”

Ziche Shubai: “Speak of my younger brother.”
Kongshan Dawang momentarily faltered, his gaze briefly twisting.
Gege is mine alone. Why does he have another younger brother?
Something dark and unpleasant lurked beneath his surface. He desperately wanted to crush Shangguan Jue, yet… he couldn’t.

Suppressing his violent urges, Kong Shan Da Wang softly said, “Brother, don’t worry. I’ll go… talk to the little one.”

Ziche Shubai was doubtful: You’re not planning to scare the fool to death, right?!
Kong Shan Da Wang rubbed against his neck. “Trust me, Brother. I’ll be careful.”

Then, he stepped into the room and shut the door.
At that moment, his face lost all warmth, replaced by an eerie gloom.

The room’s atmosphere instantly turned suffocating.
Though foolish, Shangguan Jue had sharp instincts when facing danger.
He stiffened and warily said, “What’s going on? My big brother is right outside—he’s the strongest!”
A blatant threat.

But in the next instant, the oppressive aura grew even darker.
Shangguan Jue: Did I say something wrong?

Then, he saw the figure before him—Kongshan Dawang.

He knew this man.
That shameless guy always sticking to his brother, whose relationship with him was… unusual.

Following etiquette, he hesitantly asked:
“…Sister-in-law?”

Fools always have their own kind of luck.

In an instant, all the hostility and gloom in the room vanished, replaced by an atmosphere as warm and pleasant as a blooming spring.
Kongshan Dawang, whose expression had darkened from eerie to menacing to outright terrifying, suddenly softened into a gentle spring breeze.
He smiled kindly. “Little brother.”

Shangguan Jue was curious. “Sister-in-law, what do you need from me?”

Kongshan Dawang suddenly became very patient. “Little brother, I heard that you have some concerns, so I came specifically to talk to you.”
A crazy pervert playing the role of a good sister-in-law—surprisingly convincing!

Shangguan Jue’s face fell. “How can the dignified second young master of Tiandu Star be married off to that servant?! He was the one who bullied me first!”

Kongshan Dawang’s tone remained gentle. “Then… does little brother want sister-in-law to kill him for you?”

Shangguan Jue choked.
That… actually… didn’t seem like something he wanted…

Kongshan Dawang continued to coax him, “Think about it carefully, little brother. If he bullied you so much, yet you still don’t want him dead, doesn’t that mean… you care about him?”

Shangguan Jue immediately shook his head. “I absolutely don’t—”

Before he could finish, Kongshan Dawang cut him off, “Then let’s think back. From the very beginning, haven’t you always paid special attention to Gu Xing? No matter what he did, didn’t you always want to interfere? Weren’t you always annoyed that he never acknowledged you, never respected you, and always looked down on you? And didn’t that make you want to make his life miserable? If Gu Xing stopped acknowledging you completely… little brother, wouldn’t you feel like life had lost all meaning?”

Shangguan Jue was stunned.
E-everything was spot on—what should he do?!
Could it be that he actually—really—liked that guy?!

---

Pinky says: And a superb move of gaslighting from Xiaoshan, how will Er Jue respond?